A Little Piece of Joy

Pascal turns Two!

2012-01-23T21:05:00.002-06:00

Pure, unadulterated cupcake delight!

The Unicorn Family (1x/year)

We had so much fun at Pascal's birthday party this past Saturday. We got to spend time with almost all our family (we missed you, Mark!), including my brother-in-laws parents whom we hadn't seen in much too long a time and got to Skype with my sister and her family (they live overseas, remember?). Pascal, we're thrilled you've been a part of our family for 2 years now - you're such fun!

One last get-away

2012-01-16T20:32:00.002-06:00

The beautiful Saravilla Bed & Breakfast in Alma, MI

I've made January "the month to do everything possibly fun before baby girl gets here." Which means it's not ok if she comes before February 1st (I'll have just reached the full term 37 week mark at that point) because for Christmas, Thor got us tickets to go see Garrison Keillor here in Saginaw on January 30th. If she does come earlier than that, I've already determined that we'll still go because newborns mostly just sleep anyways, and if she wakes up and cries, I'll nurse her and nobody will mind because it'll be dark in the theatre. Can you tell how much I've forgotten about the early days of caring for an infant? It's been a dream of mine to see Garrison live (we're on a first name basis), and Thor's making that dream come true!

This past Thursday we enjoyed a special treat, a trip to the Saravilla B&B about 45 minutes away from Saginaw courtesy of my dad (he got a great deal on a gift certificate at the Lapeer County Auction this past spring), Thor's co-worker Lindsey who played with Pascal for a couple of hours and Thor's parents who came up to our home and cared for Pascal overnight. The team effort allowed us to leave town earlier and miss the fore casted snow on our drive. It did end up snowing a good deal, but we took our time in getting home safely the next day.

Highlights of the trip to the B&B and our stay there:
-Seeing the giant Don Quixote-like wind turbines all along M-46. Impressive and spooky looking in the foggy sky!
-Driving by The Original Tony's Restaurant. I say this with sarcasm because I'm pretty sure there is one claiming to also be The Original Tony's in Saginaw.
-Seeing my first Bentley. I wouldn't have known it was such a special car but for Thor exclaiming over it as we drove behind it. I'm still not sure what's so amazing, but Thor assures me they're top drawer (a line we quote from "Mame.") They'd better be for the $200,000-$500,000 price tag! What on earth was one doing in rural Michigan?
-Eating really good pizza (the works with anchovies too!) at Pizza Sams in downtown Alma (they seem to have quite the fan following)
-Buying little containers of Edy's ice cream at the grocery store and bringing them back to the B&B to enjoy while watching The Office.
-A really good breakfast!

Other coming fun events for the month:

Pascal's birthday and party this week;
A maternity massage and afternoon date with Thor & Tet celebration (Vietnamese New Year) with my parents and brother next week;
And of course, an evening with Garrison. And Thor too.

So, baby girl, as much as I can't wait to meet you face to face, please hold off until the start of February. Those tickets are non-refundable.

6 weeks and counting...

2012-01-10T18:55:00.007-06:00

Sparkling cider and non-noisy blowout thingys for the New Year!

Holy canoli, it's been over a month since I last shared personal information about myself and my family via the web (aka: blogging)! So you wonder, what's been cooking? This baby girl, that's what. I'm about 6 weeks out from my official due date (Feb. 18), and everything that other ladies who have 2+ children told me is coming true! Facts like:

-"Those" muscles DO get weaker after delivering your first child making them more easily sore/tired the 2nd time around (who was I to think I would be the exception to the rule);

-You DO get more worn out more easily when pregnant with #2 because you're chasing around another little one (ok, I don't really do a lot of chasing Pascal, but caring for him does take more energy out of me). Again, I thought I might escape the majority and somehow be a weirdly energetic mother in her third trimester to an almost 2 year old boy - nope, I'm in with the average crowd.

Thor listened to me fuss about these things a few nights ago and gently reminded me that in my last 2 months of pregnancy with Pascal, I was in the rare position of not working 40 hours/week (we had just moved back to Michigan, and I wasn't planning to return to work after Pascal was born). Yup, those might have been the most unusual 2 months of my young life: not working, not in school for anything, not responsible for much of anything except for caring for myself, baby inside (they require so little at that point:), Thor (a grown man capable of doing everything for himself if need be), a little domicile, and exercising 5 mornings a week at the Curves just a few minutes walk away from home. I put my feet up a lot during those months. There were downsides of course: new to an area, slowly building friendships/social circles, and the freezing cold of Michigan I'd escaped for 5 years down in North Carolina. But, for 2 glorious months, I slowed way down and really rested. I experienced no real stress of any kind except maybe when I thought about the labor process, but I knew I was never, ever, again, going to have a time such as that.

So, if I had my way and could create a national policy without all the rigmarole of passing a bill through the House and then the Senate where it would get all torn apart and possibly sent back to the House and then getting it to the President where he could possibly veto it before signing it (see I did pay attention in my political science classes), it would be to give all of those first time moms the option of having the last couple of months in their pregnancy to leave their jobs and soak in the once in a life time chance of having few responsibilities and lots of rest (this of course already applies to pregnant moms who are ordered on bed rest, God bless them) before they have to take on one of the biggest responsibilities of their lives: caring for and raising children.

And that would be my response to the Miss America question: "How would you change the world?"

In other news, Pascal turns 2 (T-W-O, folks!) next week. What does he want for his birthday? World peace and a baby sister (well, really I want the first thing and he doesn't really get an option with the second). And a cupcake, which he will get:)

Happy New Year to you all/y'all!

Grace for the season

2011-12-07T11:26:00.004-06:00

Last night, Thor took me on a mystery date, one he arranged only a mere 36 hours beforehand. This didn't allow me the time I usually have to figure out where we were going - thank goodness! Because even when I want to be surprised, my little brain usually figures things out - I despise my intuition/brilliance sometimes. Thanks to the kindness of one of his co-workers, Deb, who had excellent babysitting credentials (raised 3 children, is a nurse, likes children, was available), we headed out the door to our surprise destination.

I should admit at this point that as soon as we got close, my very limited suspicions about where we might be going were confirmed. Like I said, drat that intuition. We were going to The Temple Theatre to listen to the Saginaw Bay Symphony Orchestra play their "Christmas Around the World" concert. Thor in his unparalleled networking abilities had procured free tickets from work since St. Mary's of Michigan was the main sponsor of the concert. We commented on how full the parking lots were around the theatre and were told at the beginning of the concert that this was the first sold out performance of the season! We found our seats and shimmied past a mom and dad and their three elementary school aged children. I admit my mind did wonder how they were going to endure this 1 1/2 hour long performance since the median age throughout the theatre must have been 68. But almost immediately it made me think back to when my mom and dad in their desire to have us experience the bigger world around us, would take us as elementary school aged children to concerts, musicals, museums, etc.... and how they must have known that it would take a little extra work on their part to help us behave ourselves.

Sure enough, the 7 or 8 year old boy sitting next to me got a little antsy, and sometimes forgot to use his whisper when asking his mom when was the show going to be over and could he have a snack, and swung his legs that didn't touch the ground and shifted a lot in his seat trying to find a comfortable position. All things I'm sure I did at some point too. But all in all, the kids did a really good job of behaving. Then came the piece where the orchestra was going to be playing while our Saginaw mayor, Mayor Branch would be reading "Twas the night before Christmas," and we realized that the man walking on stage was the man who had been sitting next to us with his wife and three kids. And I immediately thought, "Of course, the Mayor and his wife wanted their kids to experience the bigger world around them and get to see their daddy doing something as special as reading a poem before 2000+ people!" I hope it softened the hearts of the people who sat around us and had maybe felt a little irritated when the kids weren't quiet as church mice. I know that it gave me an extra dose of compassion. After intermission, Mrs. Mayor sat next to me and when she apologized to me about having to sit next to her son, I knew this was an opportunity to extend a lot of grace to her. I told her that she had nothing to apologize for, and when she said that she thought we were going to be good parents (she must have noticed my protruding belly with the cardigan sweater that wouldn't button all the way), I told her we already had a little one at home which I hoped helped her to know that we knew what she was experiencing and what we would be experiencing in the future. We moms have to back each other up, even when we don't know each other, and I hope that when I'm in the same position a few years down the road, someone will give me words of grace to let me know they understand and aren't judging me.

The concert ended, we scooted out the door into the cold night air and headed home, thankful for a free date night and even more thankful when we got home and Deb told us that Pascal cooperated and went to bed without a fight or tears and snuggled on her shoulder which made her happy.

And I was additionally thankful when Pascal slept 1 hour later than normal, giving me time for a shower before he got up. I'll have to ask Deb what her secret was to get him to sleep in longer.

The 1st "real" snow of the 2011-2012 winter

2011-11-30T11:21:00.005-06:00

The nighttime accumulation

(photo courtesy of Thor)

It finally came beginning yesterday evening, November 29th and continuing throughout the night. The "first (real) snow of the year." I say "real" because we got snow a few weeks back that fell in big beautiful flakes but didn't stick to the above-freezing roads. Along with this "first snow" came the first school cancellations as well. I admit I rolled my eyes a little thinking about how we're supposed to be prepared for this sort of thing in Michigan, but every day it snows is a snow-day for Pascal and me, so who am I to criticize? Even as I type though, the snow is melting and falling off the trees in large chunks, plopping on our roof, causing me to jump a little and wonder if Pascal is getting into trouble in his room during his supposed nap time.

We played outside this morning for 45 minutes after finishing breakfast and getting into our day clothes. This was Pascal's first real chance to play in the snow since last year he was all of 10/11 months old and not yet walking. The "playing" consisted of him eating ice, trying to walk in the deeper snow, falling over, crying, me helping him up, then carrying him around, going down the little slide in the backyard, riding on his little sled we found at an estate sale this past summer for $1.00, then rolling off the sled into the snow on his face, crying, me picking him up and heading back indoors. We peeled off our many layers (I stayed super warm and dry in Thor's snow pants) and settled onto the couch for some book reading and apple pie eating.

We'll see how long the snow lasts before it comes again (and again, and again, and again...). In the mean time, I'm thinking about making snow ice cream for dessert tonight.

Creating traditions

2011-11-28T14:40:00.003-06:00

A Rasmussen Family Tradition: Getting the annual Christmas tree at Kluck's Nursery.

Pascal is eyeing the tower of hay bales with the slide behind the camera.

Thor figured out early on in our marriage that we take different approaches to creating traditions. "Traditiooooon. Tradition!" - think Fiddler on the Roof. But I digress.

I tend to want to be very intentional about creating traditions, especially for celebrations/holidays, from the very first year with the intent to continue each one year after year.

Thor says, "If you happen to do something two years in a row, it's a tradition." Very casual, that one.

The downside to my approach is that sometimes it feels forced, like I'm trying too hard, and I worry that it might not be something that is worth continuing if it doesn't turn out to be as much fun or special as I thought it would be. The upside: At least we have a tradition or two in place:)

The upside to Thor's more laissez faire (I think I'm using this word mostly correctly) is that traditions can evolve, letting each opportunity for creating one be low-pressure and a try-out, and allowing for the ones we really do enjoy as a family to remain. The downside: What if we don't create any traditions? Well, that's not likely to happen since we tend to be creatures of habit and enjoy predictability.

So after 4 years of marriage, I find myself adapting a more relaxed attitude when it comes to tradition-building. And I kind of like it better that way.

What's your approach to creating traditions?

Weekend get away & a musical review!

2011-11-22T19:14:00.004-06:00

This past weekend, thanks to the kindness of my parents, Thor and I went on a little get away to the far, far away land of Grand Rapids. It's pretty much like Chicago for this small city Saginaw girl. Highlights of the weekend included:

1. Time to play with Thor. It's nice to be reminded that we know how to have fun just the two of us.

2. Time with our former housemate, Becky, her brother and his fiancee. Becky and I crocheted indoors while Thor took the very photogenic couple's engagement photos outdoors downtown.

They will have beautiful children

3. Eating at Asian, Indian, and Mediterranean restaurants throughout the weekend. No cooking + my favorite ethnic foods = a very happy Joylynn!

4. Spending time with old college friends, Luke and Melissa and their girls and sampling some of Luke's home made cake. He's started a business for an interesting cause: http://cakesforamustang.blogspot.com/.

5. Going to see "White Christmas" the musical with said college friends. My review: GREAT dancing, a little sad that not all the traditional "White Christmas" songs were included, and a little sadder that new songs were included, but once I accepted creative artistic license for what it was, I enjoyed it much better.

All dressed up and somewhere to go

6. A visit with our cousins who have a son 1 month younger than Pascal (one of the 5 babies born 5 months in a row) and a 4 year old daughter. We enjoy each time we get to see them, though it's not as often as we'd like.

7. A very nice (continental breakfasts have come a long way since I was a kid) free hotel at a Marriott thanks to our credit card's reward points. Racking up points + paying off the whole balance each month = The Rasmussens come out on top!

8. Last but NOT least: a glowing report from my mom and dad about how the time with Pascal went. He ate, slept, and played well and didn't fuss one bit for them...until we got home. Thank you, thank you, thank you Mom & Dad! And thank you, thank you, thank you, Pascal! I'm so thankful for the quality time he got to spend with his grandparents, just like I remember spending with mine.

We hope to squeeze in one more "just us" overnight before Baby Girl comes in late February. When was your last get-away, just the two of you, if you have kids?

What pregnancy will do to you...

2011-11-07T14:35:00.005-06:00

The face of a very patient man.

Last week, Thor came home from work one evening and with a twinkle in his eye, said to me, "Rough night last night, huh?" I replied, "No, I don't think so, I was sleeping."

(The twinkle grew even twinklier...)

Thor: "Oh, you don't remember what happened?" (I despise when he uses that line because I never know what I might have done, and there have been at least a few odd situations over the past 4 1/2 years of marriage). "Yeah, I thought I might have upset you or something because all of a sudden, you sat up, grabbed my hat off my head and hurled it across the room." (I don't recall any of this)

Your first reaction might be: Thor wears a hat to bed? Yes, yes, he does, although not a Scrooge-ish night cap, but a regular old knit cap kind of like the one in the picture above. He likes to be very warm when he goes to bed. That also explains why he has his own blanket (I fondly call it "blankie") he covers himself with under the covers - he claims it's because I end up pulling all the covers over to my side leaving him cold. But I don't really know what he's talking about since I'm sleeping the whole time.

Back to the hat-yanking/throwing occurrence.

Thank goodness Thor is such a good sport. He didn't try waking me up and asking me what was wrong or get miffed with me. He just took it as the kind of thing that a pregnant woman does from time to time and went back to sleep. We both laughed a lot the evening he told me about it, and I still giggle whenever I think of it.

Other things associated with sleep during pregnancy

Really crazy/vivid dreams that have involved:

1. Me being in an end-of-world apocalyptic nightmare where I'm running with thousands of others from earthquakes, tsunamis, collapsing buildings everywhere (think: the movie 2012). That was last night's dream.

2. Me misplacing my newborn baby and running around looking for her. This was a few weeks ago.

3. Me engaging in Xena Warrior Princess-like combat to protect myself from those who might wish to do me harm. Also a few weeks ago/re-occurring.

Themes of these dreams: a lot of running. I always say that don't like to run, except when being chased, so in these dreams, I'm a really good runner able to keep ahead of my pursuers. But it's because I'm never actually pregnant in my dreams.

You'll have to ask Thor about my "horrifying chocolate dream." That's a classic.

Year two of Halloween

2011-11-01T20:22:00.012-05:00

Last year, Pascal was about 9 months old celebrating his first Halloween. He was a quintessential Halloween character: the dinosaur. Definitely not a T-Rex since he wasn't yet walking and had to crawl around on all fours like most other dinosaurs (except the flying and swimming ones).

He also went to his first pumpkin farm just prior to Halloween with his little friend Will, with whom he has shared many adventures since. Aren't they just so delightfully squidgy?

This year, Halloween 2011, Pascal was slightly older and more mature at 21 months old, walking and able to eat chocolate with ease. But we took him around in his little push car, otherwise it would have taken 2 hours to go visit the 10 houses we did instead of 45 minutes. One bonus of this year: it was at least 15 degrees warmer than last year.

Warm as a toasted...

I'm feeling pretty diva here in my leggings and faux Goodwill find uggs.

Want s'more? (costume idea taken from this way more ambitious family).

Thor had a minor wardrobe malfunction (not his fault) but improvised beautifully.

The fluff (quilt batting) was really getting in the way of getting to the candy.

So I helped the dear marshmallow boy out and gave him just one treat for the night.

Writing outlet

2011-10-31T13:47:00.006-05:00

I have opportunities to write every so often for our MOPS group's newsletter that comes out a handful of times throughout the year, and I really enjoy it because I've found writing to be a creative outlet (one that I didn't really expect to enjoy since writing has always been mandatory and lengthy in my many, count them, 19 years of school - K-graduate school). So a few weeks ago, I thought about a topic and the one that came to mind that has always been relevant and challenging at the same time was this:

The Comparison Game: Where nobody is a winner

It starts from the moment we find out we’re pregnant. We swap stories with other moms about how their pregnancies went. We measure our own experience against what we hear and either come out feeling really good or a bit apprehensive, dissatisfied, and frustrated. The baby is born. We swap more stories about how our labor and delivery went. C-section or vaginal birth. Epidural or “natural.” Went according to plan or went in a direction outside our expectations. And we feel either really good or a bit regretful, dissatisfied or frustrated. The baby comes home from the hospital. We keep swapping stories about how the baby is eating (nursing or formula), sleeping (awake every 2 hours or slept through the night at 4 weeks), behaving (good natured baby or colicky), pooping, crying, napping, etc... And we feel either really good about ourselves/our situation/our child or weepy, dissatisfied, and frustrated. And so it continues.

It’s as natural as wanting to eat ice cream while watching The Biggest Loser, this comparison game. I’ll venture to say that we all play from time to time, and not just with other moms when it comes to talking about our children but in other relationships and aspects of our lives. It may seem like it’s best way to build friendships with other people, to try to find common links between. And maybe those are the easiest topics to begin with, but it’s a slippery slope, one that seems to often end in two possible places: The Valleys of Pride or Discontentment.

When I come out on top because my situation seems to be the better of the two, it’s easy to fall to the sin of pride. “I’m so glad that Pascal was an easy going baby. I can’t imagine what I would do if I had a fussy baby like ________. I guess whatever I’m doing must be right.” Yes, I might feel compassion for that mom for a time, but ultimately I’ll feel pity for them and relief for myself. Not a place I think God would have me be. Romans 12:3 says, “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.”

A friend shared a quote with me: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” That’s the other destination we can head. “Why is Pascal taking so long to talk? ________’s child who is younger is already using all kinds of words. Am I not doing enough?” And just like that, I’ve lost the joy in appreciating who he is, where he is. I’ve given way to fear and envy and given up being thankful that he’s a blessing from God. Not a better alternative to pride.

So what’s the solution? Stop talking to other people. No, not an option, but here are some choices I’ve found helpful:

1. Choose to ask neutral questions that help me to get to know the other person on a deeper level and stay focused on learning about them. Questions like, “Tell me about your favorite hobbies. When you were a kid, what did you dream you wanted to be when you grew up? What are you favorite foods? Have you read any good books lately (or movies)?” It takes more effort, but when I hold back from jumping in with my own answers to these questions, I allow the other person to really be heard and keep the comparisons and resulting consequences to a minimum.

2. If we do talk about subjects that naturally result in a comparison, be thankful. When I thank God for the blessings he’s showered on my friend, I affirm the truth that God is not limited in his goodness, and I needn’t be envious. And when I thank God for a less than A+ situation in my life, I live out all the scriptures that command us to “give thanks in all circumstances,” and I trust God.

This is an ongoing “game” we’ll play for the rest of our lives, but don’t give up, because if we play it right, everybody can win!

There's a little girl inside of me...

2011-10-24T08:10:00.006-05:00

I guess we have more tea parties coming in our future...

Hair

2011-10-11T12:02:00.006-05:00

Nothing to do with this post, but Pascal just being his charming ol' self

If there is one thing we Rasmussens share in common in our family, it's a lot of hair. Hair that grows, hair that is thick (ok, Pascal's hair isn't all that thick, yet, but I know it's coming), hair that is coarse/curly/wavy and many times unruly. The thinning hair/male pattern baldness gene has skipped us, and for better or worse, we accept that we are a hairy bunch. Thor cuts his own hair, and does a really good job of it (better than I can manage). But he usually waits for a number of months so his beautiful curls really have a chance to shine. I think he's handsome with curls, but I think he's REALLY handsome (hard to keep my hands off him kind of handsome, JFK Jr. impersonator handsome) with a shorter cut. So sometimes I make inferences to suggest to him that I think he could stand to have a haircut. But I've learned that there's no sense in trying to push him into making those kinds of decisions. He must come to it on his own, which he did a week or two back.

I don't have a "before" and "after" picture of Thor, but I do have an "after" picture of what came off his head:

For scale: the hair next to a hand soap bottle

And a second view - enough for a grown man's toupee

A fabulous wedding

2011-10-05T09:28:00.004-05:00

A few weeks ago, we had the pleasure of attending the wedding of friends of ours (the bride grew up in the church we attend now). It was special in that it was a multicultural experience with the groom being first generation Chaldean and the bride from the mid-Michigan area, from a real salt of the earth American family.

The ceremony was very traditionally American in structure (of course with a bagpiper to represent the Scottish heritage of the bride) and in English but with components in Aramaic led by the groom's father who is a Christian pastor. The reception was held at the same location we had our reception in Rochester Hills, a place we hadn't been back to since our wedding day, and a very dressy affair. How dressy? Well let's just say I was glad I'd gone out and bought a new dress that was a little on the fancy side. The reception had lots of Chaldean aspects with beautiful, raucous dancing around the couple from the moment the bride and groom came into the reception room, a drummer dressed in traditional Chaldean garb keeping rhythm, dinner that was served at 9:00 p.m. and dancing that went late into the night We only stayed til 11:00 p.m. and then drove the 1 mile back to Thor's parents' home where Pascal was sleeping soundly after playing the day away with his grandparents, cousins and aunt and uncle.

Although two very different cultures were coming together in this marriage, the one uniting commonality for the two families was their faith in Jesus - and that meant they were already family to begin with.

Tea Parties & Coming Babies

2011-10-02T19:25:00.012-05:00

Today, I had the pleasure of hosting a baby party (I've been avoiding using the word "shower" for this party, not sure why) for my friend, Merce'. I'm sure I've written about her in at least one if not more blog posts - a sister from a Spaniard mother, she's been such a dear friend to me since our boys were about 4 or 5 months old (they're 1 month apart). Now, she's expecting a baby girl in just 3 weeks, and still cute as a button.

Merce' didn't have any special celebrations for her first pregnancy with Nick, and as her family is all back in Spain, it's just her, her husband, and son, and I thought, "Every woman should have a fabulous party when they're having a baby!" So with the help of my party planning guru, Laura, who attends to detail and decorating so much better than me (seriously, she should start a business in event planning), we had 9 or 10 of Merce's friends (many we share in common) from varying social connections over this afternoon for a tea party themed event.

We ate totally cute and delicious food (thank you ladies who brought yummy things!), sipped a variety of teas, we played not-your-typical baby party games, gave prizes out for the best tea hats and made new acquaintances. It was one of the best baby parties I've ever attended in my personal opinion because 1. Tea hats were required (and worn proudly), 2. The decorations were so charming!, and 3. The ladies, each and every one of them were great!

The guest of honor

So elegant, don't you think?

Doily bunting

You're not allowed to remain anonymous at this party!

Crust-less sandwiches - a tea party must

Handmade confectioneries

Feeling a bit like the "ladies who lunch"

Morning person

2011-09-29T14:07:00.005-05:00

Hi everybody

Woe is me, my bowl is empty!

Gas mask or being silly?

What a girl wants, what a girl needs...TRUTH

2011-09-26T15:00:00.002-05:00

This is the face of a truth-speaking man. It's also the face of a man who just finished running a trail race last year. But that's not important. Just last night as we were getting ready for bed, I said to my truth-speaking man: "Thor, how is it that you can make me feel so delighted in one moment and drive me so crazy in the next?" And the truth-speaking man said without a moment's hesitation, "Because sometimes I do what you want and sometimes I don't." (Had he been waiting for me to ask such a question?)

I burst out laughing because there you have it: the truth I need and want to hear from the person who loves me best on this earth enough to tell me what's what. I thanked Thor for calling it like he saw it and encouraged him to keep doing more of the same because it's good for me and good for us.

When has someone told you the truth you needed, wanted to hear?

Ephesians 4:14-16

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁴ Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. ¹⁵ Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. ¹⁶ He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.

WARNING: I'm feeling a little extra wry today.

2011-09-23T10:19:00.007-05:00

This boy sure loves his swing-time.

So my last post, almost 1 1/2 months ago, I blamed my disappearance act on being pregnant (and tired). Well, I'm into my 2nd trimester, no longer feel tired, or exceptionally hungry, and am no more busy than I was a few months ago. I just have gotten lazy, and the work it takes to upload a picture or two and write a paragraph or two really has seemed like more effort than I could muster up.

Then, I thought about my sister and her less-than-ordinary life, having just moved to a new country with all the adjustments that come with that, and reflected on how she manages to blog at least weekly if not more often (for the benefit of us folks back stateside who miss their family terribly). So, as a tip of the hat to Christene, I'm going to blog today. And make no promises about blogging regularly from here on out. Because I'm afraid if I do, I might not follow through and set you, dear readers, up for some serious heartbreak. Or at least general peevishness.

It's Fall today, really, it's the First Day of Fall, and in reference to that, I sit in my kitchen smelling the scent of apple pie baking. "Wow, what a great cook you are, Joy!" you might be thinking, but I'd be lying if I didn't give the credit to Thor and Pascal. I set out this morning for a meeting at church, and last I saw, Pascal and Thor were picking apples off the neighbor's heavily laden tree (we have an understanding with them).

Side note: such a heavily laden tree was it, that one section of it uprooted and is laying on its side. It makes it much easier for us to reach the apples now. And the multiple friends that we've invited over to partake of our neighbor's effortless bounty.

These apples are of course organic (read: not given any special care to protect it from insects) - only the best for my baby. I digress. When I got home from my meeting, a beautiful crumb pie was sitting on the stove top just waiting for it's final trip to the oven. Thor did all the work, I reap all the benefits. This is a good arrangement that keeps the wheels of our marriage happily greased.

In other news, Pascal is 20 months old this week. I always wondered when people stopped referring to their kid's age in months (or weeks for that matter) because before I was a mom, I used to feel annoyed when someone would say, "My daughter is 35 months old and 2 weeks." Why couldn't they just say "Almost 3." ? Now that I'm a mom, I don't care as much about being annoying. I just want to be precise.

Blame it on the baby

2011-08-02T11:50:00.003-05:00

Pascal contemplating...something.

Sooooo....it's been quite a long time since I last blogged. And all I have to say is that I'm blaming it on the baby. The one in my belly (not an Austin Powers reference). The one due at the very end of February, 2012 (Thor's hoping for a Leap Year baby). That baby, sweet though it may be to us, has sucked pretty much all motivation out of me, leaving me with little energy to cook, clean, or blog. Pretty much all the baby motivates me to do is eat. Pascal doesn't seem to mind though because snack time for mom means snack time for him. So we're gaining weight together.

It's getting better though the last week or so. This morning I even took Pascal for a walk while it was still cool out, made some cream of celery soup (did you know you can make "cream of" pretty much anything?), and hemmed some pants for a friend. It's been an über-productive day as far as I'm concerned. If I manage to iron the pile of clothes sitting on the dining room table, I'll be giving myself a raise.

In other news, we have a housemate. She's a sweet pharmacy student, the sister of a friend, who will be living with us for a couple of months while she does rotations here in Saginaw. Pascal is totally charmed by her, and in return she likes him. I think he's been on his best behavior because he slept til 8:00 a.m. both yesterday and this morning. What other news...oh yes, my sister and her family made the big move to Brussels. Sigh, now I have to figure out what the best time is to call them and get used to them being thousands of miles away again. Fairfax wasn't close, but it was the U.S. They're an adventurous family, those Hendons.

Lots of other things have been going on in the month I've been away from blogging including lots of time in the water (Pascal is a little fish), harvesting things from our garden, quality time with friends and family, listening to live music outdoors, blueberry picking, and all the other summer things that we love. We've still got a whole month of summer left, and then I'll welcome in the cooler weather. Fall is my favorite season for sure. Although sweaters only make a pregnant woman look even bulkier.

Love me my independence

2011-07-06T12:49:00.002-05:00

Can't you just see how much Pascal loves being an American? I love being an American too. I love being an American because I consider what kind of violent oppression and human rights abuse so many people receive at the hands of their government, and I'm thankful that God allowed me to be born in this country and not in another one. Although I think Canada would have been a fine alternative. I respect our neighbors to the North.

But I'm pretty sure that I take the privilege of being an American citizen granted most days of the year. I don't tend to get too hot about political topics - I don't think it's generally worth my emotional energy or peace of mind. I'll let my dad do that since he is a politician (County Commissioner) and has to face the inner workings of government at both the local and state level. It might be apathy to some extent, if I'm honest with myself, but it never impressed me much to see grown adults get red in the face, tirading about this and that. That being said, I do believe it's important to participate in our democracy. And I'm very thankful that if I want to tirade about this or that, I can do so without fear of being treated like an animal. You can't say the same for people who live in Syria (where Thor's mom's family immigrated from), Vietnam (where my mom grew up), Libya, Myanmar, and many many other countries around the world.

Goodness, I know that this country has many problems of its own, a rich country that is full of struggling people (still, and I say this with absolute conviction, our poor will never be as poor as the poor throughout the rest of the world - my sister would attest to that having lived in Mexico and India for a number of years). We are an imperfect country governed and populated by imperfect people - hence the imperfect country. We have many broken systems. Broken people. We're no different than the rest of the world in some ways.

So while I'm thankful for residing in this nation, my heart really sets itself on Heaven. I think that perspective keeps my perspective of the U.S.A. a proper one - not needing to villainize or idolize it. I don't set my hopes on one political party or a particular president to "turn things around." I know it's not possible, in the grand scheme of things. It's all fleeting anyhow. There will be an end to all these temporary kings and kingdoms when Christ returns. This understanding brings more peace to my heart than how a particular election turned out, which candidate won.

Where do you find your hope?

Sprucing up the porch

2011-06-23T19:11:00.028-05:00

As spring/summer approached (and retreated a few times before finally coming back full time to Michigan), I got an itch to start working on a home improvement project that we didn't make it to last year - sprucing up our three seasons porch (an 9x13 room). Here's what it consisted of:

a lot of this on the floor...

and when the astro turf was pulled up from the floor,

there were live earthworms and other creepy crawlies that had made their residence under our very feet...

but slowly it got better after I used a dangerous chemical to strip residue off the cement

(reading the back of the bottle, you'd think I should have had a Hazmat suit on)...

and then two coats of BEHR clear primer for cement flooring...

and then waiting two days for that to dry due to high humidity levels...

and then two coats of grey BEHR porch paint,

and suddenly I didn't feel like wearing shower shoes upon entering the porch!

But of course I was just getting started, and so I added some color to the previously white wood paneling walls...

(thank goodness for leftover paint from all of last year's painting, and no, I didn't prime the walls because I was just that impatient)

Me, looking sweaty, slightly crazed and about 16, but happily painting!

(Thor says I look like a Chinese communist party member in this hat...)

The major work got done, but the porch was void of furniture and accessories...

so I found a cute but beat-up wicker rocking chair to the tune of $10.00 at a nearby garage sale...

and gave it a little love in the form of blue spray paint,

a new cover on the base of the seat with the help of Mr. Staple Gun and $2.00 fabric from a thrift store,

and a new seat cushion (same fabric with stuffing from an old pillow).

I had enough material to make a coordinating cushion for the other chair in the porch (a $15.00 find at a local thrift store),

and extra material from my stash to re-cover this little footstool

(thanks, Christene for the yard sale indoor/outdoor rug find you brought back for me from VA!)...

and there was still material enough to recover a bulletin board for our built-in-desk wall. Three little projects for a grand total of $2.00!

The space is feeling almost complete, but I'm still looking to add two sets of these curtains across the opposite wall that is entirely windows to soften the space even more...

(Oh bother they're only sold in-store at IKEA down state)

and paint this little table white that will sit in between the chairs for a more cottage-y look..

And I'd love a wicker loveseat opposite the chairs to finish out the seating options. Anyone wanting to get rid of one?

Have you recently finished a crafty/home improvement project?

I'd love to see what you've done!

A Father during his Day

2011-06-21T09:43:00.004-05:00

I asked Thor what he wanted to do for Father's Day and he said, "DON'T PLAN ANYTHING." I wasn't sure I was hearing him right so I repeated my question and he repeated his response. In case I missed the point, he reiterated: "DON'T PLAN ANYTHING" a third time. So low maintenance, this guy. It was his day after all so I respected his wishes and didn't plan anything. I did manage to make a full breakfast for us before church (no planning that one - just rooted around in the fridge and was delighted to find turkey bacon, eggs and toast - we were out of milk) and Pascal did "make" a Happy Father's Day, Daddy sign (also, no planning - "he" made it after breakfast while Thor was showering). This was the lowest key holiday we'd had in a long time. After church we did a little grocery shopping, brought Pascal to finish out his nap and when he got up, per Daddy's wishes, we went to the fabulous Krossroads Park.

Side note: I'm still unable to get over that it's spelled with a "K." Drives me cra-z when people misspell words to make them all cute and alliterated.

I'd rate this one "Best of the Best" in Saginaw - this playground is top drawer. Pascal played and played for an hour and then we decided to head home, spontaneously stopping for some ice cream at our local Culver's. Again, not planned. We headed home, fed Pascal dinner, gave him his much needed bath and put him to bed. Not one iota of Thor's Father's Day 2011 celebration was previously arranged. And I think Thor loved it that way.

I should also note that Thor's man cave is being highlighted over at Ever After Blueprint today!

Finds, deals, steals!

2011-06-15T09:20:00.011-05:00

The Nester is giving us humble folk out in Blogland an opportunity to share our most delightful yard sale finds. I've been waiting for this moment since last summer, also infamously known in our household as the summer of "Ty's garage sale." It's been talked about so much that Thor was getting a little jealous I think.

But before I show you all the sweet deals I found there, let me present this most recent beaut: The smiling redhead, authoress of Ever After Blueprint? Actually I was referring to the chipping orange rocking chair that the smiling redhead (also a beaut) is touching. I've been in the market for some 3 seasons porch furniture since I've been sprucing that space up over the last month. Wicker was the goal and upon leaving an estate sale in a friend's neighborhood, a bright flash of colored furniture seized my eye. I had to stop. I walked up the driveway straight to the chair and loved it at first glance, but the $20.00 price tag caused my heart to drop a little. So I did what any experienced yard saler would do -- I casually walked around and perused the rest of the merch (that's slang for "merchandise" for you non-music industry people) and then returned to the chair, sat down in it, rocked a little, got back up, looked at it some more. And finally the woman of the house said, "Are you interested?" Ummm, just a little. The smiling redhead, an experienced furniture sales woman had told me that "whoever speaks first gets the shorter end of the stick" in the sale so I was playing my cards right. "Yes, I really like the shape and even the orange hue - it's cute. Are you willing to bargain?" The lady immediately said, "How about $10.00?" I said, "Sold." And that was that. A nice teenager (perhaps a grandson or nephew) helped me load it into the car and away I went, excited about giving the chair a new look with some trusty spraypaint.

Before - beat up and orange as the day is long.

After - a better color choice with a newly (amateur) upholstered seat (a matching seat cushion is currently being made)

Now for the treasure trove of finds from "Ty's garage sale:" (brief synopsis - Ty was a 30-something fashionable bachelor who seemed to really like Crate & Barrel and Ikea. He was moving cross country and selling EVERYTHING he owned including his car. I was one of the first customers to arrive that morning and ended up making a second trip back with Thor to buy more stuff after filling his hatchback with my first load. Ty was charming, attentive and helped me pair coordinating items together as I was looking which resulted in me buying a lot more than I think I would have initially, but it was all so cheap. I bought: multiple sets of floor to ceiling length curtains for $1.00-$2.00/pair, an IKEA duvet cover for $5.00, a small floor rug with a beautiful French design for $5.00, a large Crate & Barrel shag rug for $40.00 (gently used - retailing at $300/brand new - I will be honest and say that I sold said rug for a profit on Craigslist...), large sturdy baskets for $3 or $4, 3 beautiful large black matted picture frames for $5.00 each (never used), the list goes on and on. They were all things that we needed to cozy up our brand new home, and I made out like a thrifty bandit.

At another sale that summer, I found this cute little book/night stand for $4.00 - and the owner had just painted it! Thank you for doing the work for me, lady!

We're having our own multi family garage sale this coming weekend and I'm curious to see what things other people will view as "treasures."

Thor goes to see "Thor"

2011-06-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

I know that Thor is supposed to be the good guy, but he looks a little demonic in this movie poster...

We haven't been to a movie theater in over a year and a half, since before we moved back to Michigan. Mostly because we find that the Redbox meets our needs perfectly. But when a movie comes out with your husband's name on it, it's worth the $14.00 splurge. My parents were so kind as to watch Pascal so we could have a double date with our friends, Cody & Laura.

Pascal's first "Pop"sicle

2011-06-01T08:00:00.000-05:00

Beau & Teagan gave us this cute little black bench that fits perfectly in this little space outside our front door. The space had been wanting for a little more "something," and I think this bench is just the thing. They broke it in with Pascal's first popsicle.

"Marriage May" - Guest blogger on this last day of Marriage May

2011-05-31T09:55:00.001-05:00

The matching shirts were completely unintentional. I felt a little embarrassed.

On this last day of "Marriage May" (wait, don't say it's so!), I'm honored to be a guest blogger over at my dear friend, Laura's professional blog: http://www.everafterblueprint.com/.

I'm writing about home improvement projects + marriage = conflict! And the latest Marvel film and most recent time we've been inside a movie theater in the past year and a half: Thor.

I hope you'll check it out!

"Marriage May" - Remembering...

2011-05-28T21:40:00.007-05:00

So very happy as the new Mrs. Rasmussen

Every so often, as many of you do too I'm sure, Thor and I will look at our wedding photos and listen to the audio recording of our wedding ceremony and just allow ourselves to get all sentimental. It's good for us remember that day of all days that started us on this whole marriage journey.

I wanted to share that day of all days for us with you if you like:

Short version with photos (3 minutes 15 seconds):

http://blip.tv/thorandjoylynn/thor-and-joylynn-wedding-short-281964

Whole length version (approximately 20 minutes-we kept it short and sweet) with photos:

http://blip.tv/thorandjoylynn/thor-and-joylynn-wedding-full-ceremony-281824

Ask and ye shall receive

2011-05-25T09:35:00.004-05:00

I'm one of those people who take the verse from James 4: "You do not have because you do not ask God." literally. I realize it's probably talking about more lofty things than the things I generally want, but I've seen God pretty much drop things that I've wanted into my lap so I've come to take him up on his offer for me to ask him for all things.

Including a (working) hose reel that showed up on the side of the road on Thor's drive home from work. I'd seriously been wanting one ever since we planted our little raised bed garden and some hostas in the backyard this past weekend and the garden hose was being dragged all over the place and I realized I really dislike putting the heavy thing back into a nice neat pile by the side of the house after each use. So I didn't wind it back up, instead I left it out like a giant snake all over the backyard. And it drove me a little nuts because I really like tidiness and uniformity.

Well I asked Thor and God and looked at hose reels on Craigslist and Amazon and in the circular ads, and was willing to pay a little $ for one, and 3 days later, by no coincidence I believe, there was one on the curb that Thor picked up and brought home yesterday evening.

Lest you scoff at my insistence that God did this, I have a number of other examples like this one. Has God given you something you really wanted, silly (like a hose reel) though it may seem?

"Marriage May:" Submission cont...

2011-05-23T15:10:00.000-05:00

Wow! I was pretty much thrilled with the comments and questions that I received in regards to my posting on wives submitting to their husbands. Thrilled because there are at least a few more women out there than I realized who have thought a lot about this in their own marriage and weren't afraid to add their two cents.

Your insightful and well written comments:

My wise friend here in Saginawesome, Teagan, commented: "Things really started to clear up for me on this topic when I realized that it wasn't about me and Beau it was about me and God, Beau being a gift to me and provision for me from God. So really it comes down to me trusting God, not Beau. (well, both in ways, but the thing I've been focusing on in trusting God). So, it's not "do I trust Beau to be right, and always do the right things?" it's "Do I trust God completely will all aspects of my life?"

Thank you, Teagan for adding more clarity and depth to the discussion on submission. That really is the best perspective: that submission is fundamentally about trusting God with an opportunity to demonstrate that trust through trusting our husbands.

Cat, an intelligent and well-spoken classmate from my days at CMU added: "Submission is not weakness, it is not giving in to an absolute male power. The word has been bastardized in our society so that its meaning has been twisted. It is time for christians to step up and take it back." Way to say it, Cat! "Submission is not weakness." I think I need to tattoo that on Thor's forehead so that every time I'm tempted to insist on my way, I'll reconsider. Like meekness, submission is about power and influence under control.

By the way, Cat, I wish we would have had opportunity to discuss these kinds of things while were in college, but then again, I'm pretty sure I would have had no point of reference and zero experience back then with which to discuss this subject. I was just happy to survive those first two HON courses...

Questions & Answers:

My dear friend that I met while living in Spain during college, Michelle, asked: "I'm confused though as to why WE are the ones that are supposed to "submit"..." GREAT, honest question, Michelle.

The easiest and probably least satisfying answer that came immediately to my mind was: "Because God said so."

Note: I tend to be the kind of person who generally accepts instruction without a lot of resistance (my parents can attest to that when I was a child) or questioning, something that plays out well in settings that require cooperation and keeping the peace. However, on the flip side, it mean that I don't always analyze information I receive from all angles to make sure that I'm taking the wisest course of action. Bluntly speaking, I was often described as gullible in my younger years, something that could be re-framed as "teachable" in the most gracious light, but "naive" in the worst.

My more thought out answer is: See Gary Chapman's thoughts below. I'm just glad that he could put it into words better than I was able to.

April asked, "...Because aren't we also to love our husbands the same way? Also, just curious, what book was it that you read?"

I wasn't sure if the first part was a rhetorical question or not, April, but if it was, than thank you for adding more meat to the soup! Many, many places in the Bible we are all (men and women) told to love others which we know means not the feeling of love but the doing of love. The "love is patient, love is kind, love does not keep a record of wrongs..."

Gary Chapman's thoughts on submission:

I just got my weekly email from Gary Chapman and he put the thoughts I was thinking into words:

Making Decisions in Harmony

Decisions in Love

Most counselors agree that one of the greatest problems in marriage is decision-making. Visions of democracy dance in the minds of many young couples, but when there are only two voting members, democracy often results in deadlock. How does a couple move beyond deadlock? The answer is found in one word - love.

Love always asks the question, "What is best for you?" Love does not demand it's own way. Love seeks to bring pleasure to the one loved. That is why Christians should have less trouble making decisions than non-Christians. We are called to be lovers. When I love my wife, I will not seek to force my will upon her for selfish purposes.

Help in Love

The biblical idea of the husband being the head of the wife has been one of the most exploited concepts of the Bible. Christian husbands, full of self-will, have made all kinds of foolish demands of their wives under the authority of "The Bible says...." Headship does not mean that the husband has the right to make all the decisions and inform the wife of what is going to be done.

She is called to be a "helpmate". The word means "helper". How can she be a helper if she has no opportunity to share her ideas? "Two are better than one," the Scriptures say. That is certainly true in decision-making. Why would a husband want to make a decision limited to his own wisdom when God has given him a helper?

Together in Love

When Christians discuss husband/wife roles they often quote 1 Cor. 11:3 which says, "The head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man." They often stop quoting at that point, but the very next phrase says, "The head of Christ is God." Obviously referring to God the Father. Are God the Father, and God the Son equally God? Yes. Yet, within the trinity there is order.

As the head, does the Father ever force the Son to do anything? No. Does the Son ever act independently of the Father? No. There is perfect unity. That is the design for Christian marriage: husbands and wives working together as a team, with the husband as the recognized leader.

Submission in Love

I am fully aware that many contemporary Christians reject the idea of male leadership in the marriage. I think it is because they miss-understand the biblical concept of 'headship'. Male leadership in the home has nothing to do with superiority. It has to do with order among equals. God's design is that the husband will love his wife as Christ loves the church and make every sacrifice for her well-being.

Headship does not mean that the husband is more intelligent than the wife. It does not mean that the man is more valuable than the woman. And, it does not mean that the husband is to be a dictator. The great need of our day is for Christian leaders who will love, not dictators who demand.

Unity in Love

Many wives shudder when they hear the pastor say, "Turn in your Bible to Ephesians 5:22." Because they know that's the verse that says, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord." "But you don't know my husband," they think. "But you don't understand submission," God must say. Submission is not a female word. Verse 21 says, "Submitting yourselves one to another."

The word to husbands about loving, and to wives about submitting, both call for an attitude of service. Submission does not mean that the wife must do all the giving. The husband is to give his life for her. Nor does it mean that she cannot express her ideas. The goal is unity which requires both to have an attitude of service.

Thank you, Gary!

Guest Post: Thor on Marriage

2011-05-23T10:00:00.003-05:00

As two trees grow close together in a forest the branches begin to be intertwined. If you look up to the top of the trees it may be difficult to tell which branches belong to which tree. A similar intertwining happens both immediately at the act of marriage and progressively as the marriage continues. When Joylynn and I first got married our branches touched. Now, four years later we have roots growing together. There is retention of independence from one another in the sense that our likes and dislikes and personalities are distinct, but there is a third element that develops though our interactions with one another that creates a new area with an ever diminishing clarity between two and an ever increasing sense of oneness.

"Marriage May:" How we stay enriched

2011-05-19T08:00:00.002-05:00

Did I mention that I met THE Gary Chapman in person last February...

I'm not talking about eating a lot of "enriched" pasta or cereal. I'm talking about enriching our marriage relationship. My sister told me that when she and my brother-in-law, Tony were meeting with the pastor for pre-marital counseling he told them that he and his wife (of many happy years, way to go Eupers!) made it a priority to engage in at least one marriage enrichment activity each year and that he strongly recommended that as something all married couples should practice. Thor and I took that to heart and have made a point of seeking out workshops and conferences that would refresh and remind us of the foundational principles for a strong marriage.

To date, we have participated in:

1. A multi-week class on the 8 Habits of a Highly Successful Marriage (created by the Franklin Covey organization). For my Greensboro, NC readers, visit that link to read more about what the Greensboro Family Life Council offers in the way of marriage enrichment among other things.

2. The best kind of date Thor could ever contrive - a Couple's Night Out that included dinner and marriage exercises with entertaining speakers at Seton Cove Spirituality Center (affiliated with St. Mary's Hospital where Thor works). That date was a surprise and did Thor ever hit the nail on the head! As a counselor, I totally eat those kinds of things up both personally and professionally.

3. And most recently, a day-long, laughter-filled "The Marriage You've Always Wanted" conference with Dr. Gary Chapman. THE Gary Chapman of "The Five Love Languages." Did I mention he's kind of my hero? Also a surprise weekend for me. Thor's been out-doing himself lately.

None of the enrichment activities we've done have been rocket science, mostly reminders of the things we know already to be true (how essential good communication is, how to handle conflict in a healthy manner, the importance of sex in marriage, having fun with each other, etc...) which remind us that the secret to a good marriage is not a secret after all but rather tried and true timeless actions that can be applied to every marriage.

If you Google the phrase "marriage enrichment" or "marriage conferences," you'll come up with any number of local and national opportunities. If no conference is nearby, consider having a yearly "tune up" appointment with a marriage counselor in your city. Pick out a book to read through with your spouse once a year. If you're super frugal, check it out from your local library! Many of these things do cost a (very) little bling bling, but isn't it worth the investment? We pour a lot more money into our hobbies, cars, wardrobes, and vacations than we generally do our marriage relationship. I know I'd rather have a happy healthy marriage than a closet filled with the trendiest clothes any day!

When's the last time you and your spouse took part in a marriage enrichment activity? And if it's been a while, what are you going to commit to doing soon?

"Marriage May" - What is extravagant love?

2011-05-18T07:47:00.006-05:00

Extravagant love, to me, (get ready folks and English teachers, this is going to be one long run on sentence) is when after realizing that my trusty black diaper bag is starting to fall apart from the inside out, I comment to Thor about how as a replacement, I would really love a backpack, specifically a quilted Vera Bradley-looking backpack, similar to the one my older more stylish sister carries around and that I've decided is so much more sophisticated and practical than a traditional over the shoulder diaper bag, and in a matter of days, Thor consults with my sister, identifies a suitable backpack and scores it for a good deal on Ebay (think $$ as opposed to $$$. He knew I wouldn't enjoy it as much if it were full price) then presents it to me in a hastily assembled but sweet gift bag w/ tissue paper at dinner last night after I'd just finished crabbing to him about how Pascal was a bit "difficult" that day and ate like a bird and I hoped he wasn't becoming one of "those" picky eaters that make their mothers worried when their (the kid's, not the mother's) once delightfully chubby thighs become chubby no more, and Thor has a smile on his face to see my face light up at the sight of the most perfect backpack a girl could ever imagine.

(BIG BREATH)

Yes, that's extravagant love to me.

"Marriage May:" An unpopular idea

2011-05-15T21:14:00.008-05:00

Though unrelated to the topic, this picture is just too cute.

Even as I was thinking about the topics I would touch on during "Marriage May," I knew I had to write about an idea that would probably be considered somewhat unpopular with the masses, but I hope you'll hear me out. I know I won't cover every last angle of this topic, but I'll do my best to share my most pressing thoughts.

Submission.

In the secular world, the word generally takes on a negative connotation (consider the idea of a dog being submissive to his master). Amongst the educated female population, it's considered downright insulting. Within Christian circles, there still seems to be a LOT of controversy and debate. And even amongst women who happen to believe that the idea of submission to their husbands is a positive one, I think there's a bit of a "hush hush" attitude where it's hard to talk openly about it for fear of judgement. I make these generalizations because I've had such attitudes and wrestled with my feelings on this issue.

Until recently.

Upon the suggestion of a friend from church, this past Fall I read a book that presented what I consider to be a pretty fundamental view of Biblical submission. I would probably not have picked up the book on my own. I told myself that I would do my best to read the whole thing with an open mind and heart, not with the filter of a socialized, educated, middle class American born and raised woman, but with a willingness to see if there might be truth God wished for me to know and put into practice. As I went through each chapter, I'll confess it wasn't always easy. Many of the ideas that the author shared made sense to me, and I found her style of writing amusing, no-nonsense interesting and thought provoking. There were little lights that turned on in my head, and I tried to do some of the things that I felt convicted about (that I wasn't doing well before). But there were other ideas and suggestions that I could hardly stomach. Ideas like learning to have a thicker skin and not being so easily slighted and biting my tongue in certain circumstances that conflicted with my graduate education in counseling that taught me to express my feelings and preferences and needs frequently, clearly and assertively. Ideas like letting Thor do things his way even when I might have the better idea. Even when there might be a negative consequence (like getting more lost on the way to somewhere). And ideas like a Godly woman submitting *to a less than stellar, undeserving husband by serving and being kind and gentle to him. Ideas like those specifically.

As I read, I thought about a couple of specific situations in which I insisted on doing things my way or saying my piece because I felt entitled to and how it always resulted in there being conflict and a breaking of the peace between me and Thor, regret on my part for being so harsh and pushy because I would rather be right than happy, and Thor feeling bullied and belittled. I reflected on how many times during the first couple years of our marriage I said something to the extent of, "Thor, I need you to step up and be a stronger leader in our marriage." But ironically, I wouldn't let him, sabotaging his efforts by being so domineering. I had him stuck between a rock and a hard place!

The more I read, the more I considered the picture of submission that Jesus exemplified in the way he willingly did whatever the Father asked him to do throughout his ministry on earth, even enduring all kinds of injustices from humans and ultimately giving up his life on a cross for the benefit of all mankind. I know it wasn't always easy for Jesus to submit, but he did it anyways. Why? Because he knew the Father loved him wholly and he loved the Father with the same affection. It made me consider my motivation for mirroring that kind of submission that Ephesians 5:21-33 instructed me to practice. If Jesus could set such a radical example, one that didn't make sense to the world around him, than I felt convinced that I needed to adopt an attitude that would seem radical, even foolish to the world around me, especially my educated peers. An attitude of submitting to Thor in everything. Why? Because I know Thor loves me and is trying to love me the way that Christ loved the church (he gave his life) and because I love Thor.

In the months since finishing the book, I've been so affected as to want to submit to Thor in all things. I don't claim to do it 100% of the time. Why, just yesterday I insisted (really I made him feel badgered) he take a certain way home from running errands instead of letting him choose the route. Yes, my way was faster, but I realized only a little late that "faster" wasn't the goal. The goal was to demonstrate my trust in, respect and love for Thor. Which I didn't do in that instance, but every day's a new day.

What submission isn't...

I should add that from my understand, submission doesn't mean being a flighty, air head mouse of a woman who has no ambitions or opinions of her own. Proverbs 31:10-31 describes what a wife of noble character looks like. Sheesh, I could only wish to be such an accomplished woman! I think submission means that I offer my thoughts and opinions when wise for consideration but ultimately give Thor the final say. It's been pretty clear to me the increased level of enjoyment and peace in our relationship when I go this route.

Submission also isn't saying, "Yes, Thor, let's go with your idea..." while having a grumbling, crabby heart (thinking back to a prime example of it on Sunday at church...). It's also not telling him, "I told you so" after he makes a decision that results in a negative consequence. Even if I was right! My attitude and actions need to be congruent.

There's so much more to say on the subject of submission, but ultimately I wanted to express that:

1. I no longer have a negative attitude about being submissive because I feel like I have a better perspective, and

2. I have experienced such positive results in my own head and heart when I do submit to Thor that I can't deny God meant it to be a good thing for the marriage relationship.

I welcome your comments and questions on this "unpopular idea."

*Note: this does NOT include permitting abuse of the wife or children or doing something that would be sin in God's eyes.

"Marriage May:" At our best

2011-05-11T08:33:00.006-05:00

Photo courtesy of www.digitalanarchy.com

I would like to present you with 2 examples of a marriage at its best.

In our drive down to Greensboro, NC for vacation last Wednesday night (we just got back Monday morning), Thor and I as a team dealt really well with:

1. A diaper of such smelly and large proportions that it required us to take action in an Ohio turnpike reststop restroom at 9:30 p.m. (thank you God for family restrooms!) and change diaper and clothes and socks while keeping Pascal from rolling off the changing table. It was not something that would have been capable or safe with just one person. Two really are better than one!

2. Flashing lights in the rearview mirror stopped us on the shoulder of I-77 in Southern Ohio around 2:00 a.m.. My first time being in a car that was pulled over by the police. And yet, God gave me the grace not to be irritated with Thor and his lead-foot. Mercy prevailed and we only received a warning and were sent on our way within 5 minutes. Thank goodness that Thor does not have an authority complex. He was polite to a T, even naturally turning on a slightly Southern accent that surely charmed the State Trooper. I did tease him about that a little...

"Marriage May": Forgiveness

2011-05-09T13:45:00.002-05:00

Photo courtesy of http://verydemotivational.memebase.com

We've all heard the quote: "Love means never having to say you're sorry." That's rubbish, total nonsense, foolishness (by the way, it came from a 1970's film, "Love Story," and seeing that it came from a movie, we can pretty much trust that it's not true)!

If there is one major thing I've learned throughout our short four years of marriage, it's that love means saying you're sorry. Multiple times a day if necessary. And really meaning it. As a non-expert in the field of marriage, I think I can safely state that one of the most basic components of a healthy and strong marriage is continual and genuine forgiveness. Both the asking for forgiveness and the offering of forgiveness. And really meaning it.

As a wedding gift, friends of ours gave us a little framed quote that sits on our dresser drawer: "May He enable you to quickly say, "I forgive you." It's a great reminder that the only way Thor and I can live in peace and enjoyment with each other on a daily basis and year after year "til death do us part" is if we have no bitterness or resentment stored up towards each other. And that only happens through forgiveness. I know that other things will cause stress in our relationship, but I've said before in so many words to Thor that I'll do my darndest to not allow civil war be a part of our story. I'd rather the stress come from the outside than between us. Lincoln said, "A nation divided against itself cannot stand," a perfect metaphor for marriage relationships.

A few additional thoughts on forgiveness:

1. I can't forgive Thor without the help of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes all I can muster up is, "God, help me to want to forgive Thor. Help me to forgive him." And in that mysterious way that I've experienced with God, the stubbornness and hardness of my heart lifts and frees me to truly forgive and be free.

2. It's hard to do sometimes, even when the issue isn't that big of a deal. I'm (and I can imagine you might be at times) a stubborn creature and sometimes just don't want to admit my fault or be gracious towards Thor when he admits his. But being a follower of Christ requires that I do it anyways, so sometimes...

3. ...I have to remind myself aloud that I've forgiven Thor. That's after I've actually done it when the desire to be resentful returns. I have to "resist the devil..." because then "...he will flee from you" (James 4:7). That's why I have to tell myself out loud sometimes, "I already forgave Thor."

4. The more I practice forgiveness, the easier and more natural it is. Same thing with offering forgiveness. It's like stretching after I workout. The looser my forgiveness muscles are, the easier and less awkward it is to use them the next time.

5. I can't just wait for Thor to come to me when I've hurt him to ask for forgiveness. I need to go to him when I know something is amiss between us and admit my wrongdoing. It's an awfully humbling experience to do this but thankfully Thor is a very gracious guy and quick to forgive. One of the many reasons I married him.

6. Conversely, I can't wait til Thor comes to me and says, "What's wrong, Joy?" I have to go to him and tell him that I was hurt. And open the lines of communication to promote restoration. I can't let my bruised pride get in the way. Because I'd rather be happy than right.

What's the alternative to forgiveness? Um, hurt feelings, a break down in communication, bitterness that grows like a weed, coldness, emotional pain and suffering, living in close quarters with your worst enemy, separation, divorce. Nothing good I promise.

Interestingly, our small group bible study discussion last night centered around this idea of forgiveness. We were reading out of Matthew 18:21-36. It's a hard story because Jesus is saying that we forgive for as many times as someone hurts us (not just the literal 490 times of 70x7). And he's also saying that we can't have right relationship with God if we don't forgive the humans who are being human around us. There will be a block between us and Him if we have outstanding issues with another person.

One of my favorite verses about forgiveness is Romans 12:18. "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live in peace with everyone." That's how I want my marriage to be characterized.

Is there something you are holding against your spouse? Is there something you've done that has hurt your spouse? Take care of it today!

"Marriage May" Part 2. Where it all began for us, cont...

2011-05-03T09:02:00.004-05:00

Continued from yesterday...

I came back for vacation in late December 2004 and finally was able to spend some time with Thor in person. The first occasion was for my dad's swearing-in ceremony (he had been re-elected as one of Lapeer's County Commissioners). Thor jokes that it wasn't a very good first way to meet my family, with my dad swearing and all... Anyhow, we planned to meet up at the local Tim Horton's before the ceremony so that I could drive him to the courthouse. With my little brother (he would have been around 14) in tow, we got to Tim Horton's, and I in nervous anticipation went inside and scanned the restaurant. There he was! More handsome than I remembered, shorter than I remembered, looking very sophisticated in a long black wool dress coat and appropriate attire for a ceremony. I remember wondering what kind of car he drove because I figured that would tell me something about him. Sports car = too much of a show off/risk taker for me. Total beater with no muffler and fast food wrappers in the backseat = too scuzzy/immature for me. You can't imagine the relief I felt when I saw he drove a newer navy blue Ford Focus hatchback = conscientious/fuel efficient yet still with a little style.

We attended the ceremony where he met my mom and dad and then afterwards headed to a Christmas party at his friends' the Rossi's home (of "Free Credit Score.com" winning band fame). There I met his long time friends and I think also his parents (I can't remember...someone verify this for me) and felt completely welcomed and completely overwhelmed. Thor brought me home that evening, and I began to feel that tickling sensation of butterflies wondering what was going to happen next.

A few days later, we hung out again, this time in my territory at a local coffee shop. It was the time to have "that" talk. The DTR - "define the relationship" talk.

Thor: "I think we should just be friends."

Joy (thinking): "What?!"

Thor: "Yeah, I mean it's not very practical with you living in North Carolina and me here in Michigan."

Joy (feeling): "My heart is sinking into my stomach."

Joy: "Ok, well I guess that makes sense..."

And then we came back to my parents home and hung out with my brother while my parents were out for the evening. The evening was well spent with the guys singing and playing Beauty & the Beast songs on the piano, laughing hysterically and talking. In some way, because Thor had made it clear that we were "just friends," I relaxed a lot and didn't fret about trying to impress him. I knew that I really liked his friendship and didn't want to give that up so I tried to accept that this is how it was going to be.

A few days later it came time to drive back to Greensboro as "just friends." And drive we did for 12 hours, a drive made more enjoyable by his company. We stopped at Tamarack in West Virginia off I-77, one of the neatest tourist traps I've ever seen. It was beautiful weather when we arrived, unseasonably warm for January 2005. I took Thor around UNCG's campus to show him where I spent most of my waking hours and when we stopped to sit on a bench and take in the 70 degree weather and sunshine in Foust Park, he turned to me and said, "With fear and trembling, I think I love you." What?! I thought we were "just friends?" We're not even dating!

I had to think for a moment before responding, "I'm afraid I can't return the sentiment at this time." Very mature, Joy. I admit to feeling a little smug at how restrained and thoughtful I was being. I'd learned my lesson about broken hearts a year or so earlier and God had really helped me be careful about giving my affections away easily (breaking that "crushing" tendency). Thor told me later that he thought eventually I'd come around - how presumptuous on his part! Although now we're married so I guess he presumed rightly.

Thor flew back to Michigan and we kept on communicating through writing, the phone (now) and emailing, and our friendship continued to grow deeper. We were still just friends but he announced he'd like to come back to visit in March. Well, ok, if he wanted to, I guess I would let him come. This was my big opportunity to introduce my special friend (his grandma referred to me as Thor's "lady friend" for a time which cracked me up) to my classmates, friends at church, etc...! It was during that weekend visit that we were sitting on the tall hill outside my apartment watching the sun start to set and I said to him, "Thor, I think I might love you too." Well, that settled it, we were going to be boyfriend and girlfriend. And we knew that we were in it for the long haul, to head down that path towards marriage.

So began a long-distance dating relationship that spanned about 1 1/2 years while I was in school. We saw each other anywhere from every 1-3 months. I went home usually 1-2 times a year at Christmas and after Spring semester and he came multiple times to Greensboro. Thor got so good at intentionally getting bumped off flights that he was able to pay for many of his flights with vouchers. I got used to hearing from him saying he'd be arriving on a later flight, but thankfully I lived about 7 minutes from the local airport so it wasn't a big deal. And I always knew that when he got off the plane and meet me at the end of the walkway, I'd get a little treat of Godiva chocolates. I had NO idea how ridiculously expensive they were but I saved the gold boxes for a long time. It was during that dating relationship that Thor came to know and be known by my friends and family and vice versa and the more time went on the more I grew to love and respect Thor for his love of and devotion to Jesus, his kind and patient personality and creative giftings.

We talked often about marriage and began reading some books on marriage and trying to ask ourselves the hard questions about whether we were truly compatible in our values, priorities, and convictions. Especially as a counselor in training, I appreciated that Thor initiated these opportunities, something he still does when he makes plans for us to do marriage enrichment activities annually.

Big changes were under way in Thor's life during this time. He was tiring of the long drive to work in I-75 rush hour traffic and feeling unsatisfied with his corporate job in a cubicle. He began talking about changing jobs and exploring careers in health care (Way to have foresight, Thor! Get out of the failing industry and into the growing one in Michigan!) and eventually decided on Speech Language Pathology. I look back now and see how God orchestrated so many details, making it possible for Thor to move to part-time employment at his company to make time for attending Wayne State University for one year of pre-requisite classes, being accepted to UNCG's Graduate program in Speech Language Pathology with all tuition covered and an assistantship to cover living expenses, free housing at a bed and breakfast within walking distance just off campus in exchange for him being the night-manager. So many blessings that brought Thor to Greensboro in August of 2006 just after I'd graduated and had started my job at Guilford College. We dated in-person for the first time and were so happy to see each other like normal couples on a regular basis! We attended church together, socialized together, took walks together, ate at Chik-Fil-A together, heaven. Then only a few months later after receiving my dad's support/blessing we became engaged back in Michigan while home for Christmas (2006) and then only a few short months after that we were married back in Michigan, May 12, 2007. It was one of the most delightful days of my life. We headed back to North Carolina and honeymooned in Atlantic Beach, NC for the most peaceful, relaxing week I've ever experienced. We had absolutely NO conflict throughout that whole week which was bliss! Then we began our married life in our tiny little one bedroom, one bathroom (you had to walk through the bedroom to get to the bathroom) apartment.

The End. Or rather The Beginning.

"Marriage May" Part 1. Where it all began for us: the loooong version according to Joy

2011-05-02T13:40:00.010-05:00

We were but young things when we first met, 19 or 20, in college at our respective higher education institutions (he at Oakland University and I at Central Michigan University). We ran into each other (not literally) on the ultimate frisbee field at SpringHill Camp at a InterVarsity Christian Fellowship (IV) retreat the fall of my sophomore year of college (2000). I was a wholly committed part of my IV chapter at CMU, he was more on the fringes of his chapter but still quite the man about campus. Giving out pieces of caution tape and star stickers wherever you go will do that for a person.

I remember meeting Thor during that retreat, but I don't remember thinking anything beyond that because I had a crush on another guy at the time. I crushed a lot during college and dated seldom (seldom meaning once). "Crushes" are safer aren't they? You can't really have too much of a broken heart when you "crush," but boy oh boy, broken hearts can definitely be had with someone you date after they decide they don't want to date you anymore.

We went our separate ways, back to school, and me the next spring semester to Spain. I came back to Michigan at the end of Spring and moved off campus to a cute little house on May Street in Mt. Pleasant. Two Fall semesters later (2002), we ran into each other again at a home football game at CMU. Thor was accompanying some friends in a band from downstate to the game because they were playing a show on the grass outside the stadium. I was tailgating with IV students outside the stadium and in the process of walking around the parking lot to see all the goings-on, I ran into Thor! I remembered him because, 1. His name was Thor and how many of them do you meet? and 2. He was giving out star stickers. Again, how many people do you meet doing this? It made him one memorable guy. Thor however did not remember me. Ouch.

We went our separate ways again, back to school, back to crushes/short relationships with other people. I think there may have been one email communication during that time or I think I posted on his website guestbook (which no longer seems to be there so I'll need to get proof from Thor). Fast forward to 2004. I graduated after 5 years at CMU. Thor had graduated from Oakland in 2003 and was working in the auto industry in a cubicle and writing and performing his music in coffee shops. I had just moved down to Greensboro, NC to begin graduate school at the University of North Carolina Greensboro in their Counseling Department. And then I received an email in October. An invitation to come to one of Thor's shows in Kalamzaoo, MI. I thought it was a mass email sent out to a number of his friends, but Thor later told me that it was sent specifically to me. When I asked why, he said, "Because I remembered that you were cute." I smile whenever he tells that story.

I emailed him back apologizing that I wouldn't be in attendance since I had just moved to North Carolina. Bad timing, sigh. But something stuck that third time of "running into each other." He was a friend that I needed at that time while I was getting used to my new life far away from the familiar territory of Michigan, and he proved to be a great neutral sounding board for some hard emotional things that were going on in my life at the time. We continued to communicate daily, sometimes multiple times a day and then not too long afterwards he asked if he could write me letters in addition to the emails. I said, "No." Just kidding. What kind of a girl would shut a guy down who asked politely if he could write her letters? A crazy one. And I wasn't crazy. I couldn't be, I was enrolled in a counseling degree program!

The letters started coming and my sweet roommate, Stacie would faithfully get the mail and bring me my letter. They were encased in envelopes, hand decorated by Thor's artwork (I've kept them all) and his writing, though sometimes illegible, were helping me to gain insight into this "quirky" guy who thought enough of me to take the time to handwrite letters and pay postage to mail them to me. On average, I was getting 2-3 letters a week and this went on for months! One time Stacie went to get mail, the postal worker said, "So you're the girl who's getting all these letters!" And Stacie said, "No, it's my roommate." Even the postal worker was noticing the volume of mail being delivered to our little apartment box.

It came near to my time to come home for Christmas, and when I wrote Thor (we still hadn't talked on the phone) about my plans to drive home to see friends and family he wrote back with a unexpected offer to help me drive back to Greensboro after the New Year. What? We were just friends (that's what I kept telling myself to protect my head and heart from getting overly attached to Thor since we weren't dating and he had expressed no romantic interest in me). I called my sister and asked her what she thought about it, and she said, "Joy, a boy doesn't just offer to drive a girl 12 hours back to her home and then pay for a one way ticket to get back home if he's not interested." I'm glad she saw things for what they were;) So after thinking about it and considering my response, I told Thor that I would accept his offer.

To be continued...

Marriage May begins

2011-05-01T14:25:00.003-05:00

Saturday, May 12, 2007 - An absolutely wonderful day.

Today, Sunday, May 1st is the start of my themed month, "Marriage May." Why you ask? Well, only because it's the month Thor and I were married during, 4 years ago (mark your calendars folks, May 12th). Yeah, yeah, all you long time married folks are saying, "They're complete newbies." So because I discovered I tend to benefit from a focus in order to blog more consistently and passionately, I will be touching on any number of marriage related thoughts, topics, stories, etc... this coming month. I might even bring out some old pictures of us in the "early years." Stay tuned!

Off the market

2011-04-29T10:19:00.005-05:00

Photo courtesy of www.dnainfo.com

So yes, like probably millions of other young women around the world, at one point in time I had the briefest thought that someday maybe I would meet Prince William and he would meet me and he would be smitten with my great personality (read: it would make up for me not being a stunning timeless British beauty) and down-to-earth "ness" that he found refreshing and charming and much needed in his stuffy, highly choreographed royal life. And he would decide, "She's the girl for me!" (as I keep typing, the more ridiculous I realize I sound). I should also mention that I've had this same daydream with Josh Groban as the main character.

Well, he's off the market as of this morning. And I hope and pray that William and Catherine have a long and happy marriage. Perhaps they'll call me up if they run into marital difficulties and need a counselor (yes, I had that daydream this very morning).

P.S. Don't you just love the little girl on the left covering her ears w/ her hands? Too loud of a crowd, girly? You'll have a good chuckle when you're older.

Easter celebrations

2011-04-26T13:33:00.004-05:00

Easter 2010

Easter 2011

Pascal's 2nd Easter. It's true what they say: so much changes in just one year. Changes like Pascal can eat eggs now, shell and all.

We celebrated Easter soaking in all the jubilation of remembering that Jesus is alive! We attended Good Friday service at our church Friday evening and then the Easter Egg Hunt the next morning. Our small group Bible study was coordinating the event, so we had been busily stuffing hundreds of plastic eggs the week prior with other volunteers, organizing details and finally, the day came. It didn't rain, thank you God, and we had a great bunch of kids both from the church and the greater community come and hear about the hope we have because of Jesus' resurrection and then go madly dashing for eggs. Pascal picked up one egg and then proceeded to play with the playground equipment. Oh well, perhaps next year he'll take more interest.

Saturday afternoon/evening I spent getting the house ready for the potluck we were hosting after Sunday service. We took a time out to go have dinner at our friends', Brian & Misty, new home, a house we had actually looked at during our house hunt. It's an incredible space complete with a 600 square foot pristine heated workshop for Brian's man cave, a full basement mostly finished, a nice deck off the back and great kitchen countertops! We're thrilled for them as they expect their first child, a boy, this summer. My brother came to spend the night and got in a little later. Sunday morning we rejoiced with our church community and then had my parents and brother and a small flock of friends over for lunch (22 adults/older children and 5 babies-toddlers, all boys). After our guests and family headed home, we hopped in the car and went to visit Thor's grandma, cousin and extended family down state. We spent the night at my in-laws and came back to Saginaw Monday afternoon. Thor had the day off so we took it relatively easy until we met with our small group at home that evening.

It was a FULL weekend, but a great one. This coming weekend, my baby brother graduates from U of M with a degree in, yes, it's true, nuclear engineering. David has worked (and played) hard the past four years and will continue for another year to earn his master's degree in nuclear engineering. Once I figure out what kinds of things nuclear engineers do, I'll make sure to fill you in, dear readers.

What's a girl to write about?

2011-04-19T07:49:00.004-05:00

Photo courtesy of pr.com

I admit I have been feeling aimless with my blogging ever since "No Spend" March ended. I discovered that I really thrive when there's a "theme" or "assignment" that may be of interest to a broader readership or at least to me (chalk it up to being one of those "goal oriented" people), and in the absence of said theme/assignment, I resort back to sporadic writing about random topics as inspiration hits, many having to do with daily living in the Razz household, all of which are very thrilling to my family members and probably less so to the general public. So yes, I'll admit, I'm trying to write for my audience, which I recall is one of the major lessons taught in high school English class.

So my question:

What causes you (reader) to come back time and again to a particular blog?

And my 2nd questions:

What, if anything, would you like me to be writing about?

I'd love to hear your responses to satisfy my curiosity!

I do know this much for sure, I'm going to be dubbing the month of May, "Marriage May!" in honor of our anniversary. We'll be hitting the big 0-4 years May 12th of this year, and before I decided to focus on college student development in my counseling graduate program, I was very interested (and still am) in tailoring my training to marital counseling. So I plan to be sharing on any number of marriage related topics (lessons I've learned, marriage enrichment ideas, etc...) including our own riveting love story. Now isn't that a teaser!

A trip to the zoo

2011-04-12T11:13:00.005-05:00

Thor's dream of being a cowboy is one step closer to realization

Our own little Mowgli

Thor, pre-haircut

We took advantage of the Saginaw Children's Zoo 1/2 price admission during the month of April (we joked because 1/2 the animals were not on exhibit yet) to take a little family outing this past Saturday. Pascal had been there last summer with his cousins while they were visiting from Fairfax, but he was only 7 months old so he paid about as much attention to the animals and the little train ride as a vegetarian does to the meat entrées on a restaurant menu. But THIS year, at the ripe old age of 14 months, he actually stared at the animals and made funny noises, I think to show he was trying to communicate with them. Among other animals, we saw kangaroos, little penguins, sheep, horses, cows, a yak (I think that's what the auburn haired beast w/ the horns is), an alligator, bald eagles (I thought it was illegal to be in possession of them...), ring necked pheasants, and the exotic American crow (shoot, I don't have to go to the zoo for that one, I just look out my window).

Then we stopped by our local 7-Eleven and offered Pascal his first taste of a - not a hit but that left more for us.

"Franken-perfect"

2011-04-02T20:38:00.003-05:00

Thor embraces the Asian picture taking tradition

This past Friday, April 1st, no longer "No Spend" March, our friend Corey was so kind as to watch Pascal while we went to Frankenmuth for lunch and a little meandering. We headed to a little restaurant, La Crepe du Jour that sells all kinds of crepes and feasted on a couple of different savory flavors. Afterwards, much to Thor's dismay, I persuaded him to wander in and out of many a touristy shop so I could see what these "shoppes" were all about. My favorite: Frankenmuth Fudge Kitchen. After one small free sample, I was sold and left with more fudge than two people ought to eat on their own (even 1 slice is a lot!) I think fudge is more costly per pound than caviar.

We left feeling a little like we'd just walked out of "Pleasantville" because Frankenmuth is just like that, a little too perfect. Perhaps it was the happy German music playing around us...

"It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful..."

2011-04-02T20:18:00.006-05:00

The Nester's motto is "It doesn't have to perfect to be beautiful" and boy was I repeating that again and again in my head as I finished my covered lamp shade project this evening. It's what helped me get started on (finishing) it tonight and what kept me from being chagrined and annoyed at the lack of perfection in the final result. But it's done, and I waited a whole month to buy the ribbon to trim the top and bottom of the shade so I'm thankful it's over.

It started out as one of these "college-y" lamps that I found at a yard sale for $2.00 (and if you can believe it, Thor came home with a matching one that he found at a different yard sale for $1.00! I totally felt ripped off). But it just wasn't suiting my attempted style so I borrowed an idea from Laura and found this type of shade at Target on clearance in solid black. But black just wasn't fitting our color scheme so I took some lovely fabric courtesy of Teagan and covered it all up, trimmed it with ribbon to help hide the flaws and called it good.

"No Spend" March - As things wind down...

2011-03-29T10:06:00.008-05:00

Pascal feels my impatience...no, not really, he's just throwing a fit.

Only a couple days left in this whole crazy experiment. 31 days of denying myself the entertaining yet not-very-productive and time consuming activities (if done too much as was my habit) of thrift shopping, deal finding, Target-visiting, Craigslist perusing, and popping into a store just to see what's new-ing. And now with only 2 days left, I'm starting to reflect on the process and consider what I've learned and how my habits and attitudes have changed.

When Friday, April 1st rolls around, will I burst out of my house like a mad woman, racing to get to the nearest retail store for a dose of retail therapy? I won't lie, it's tempting seeing as I have 2 items in want of purchasing (a craft supply to finish my recovered lamp shade and remember that gift I had to return?). Would I look less desperate if I waited until April 2nd?

My whole goal of this month was to develop more moderation, self control and thoughtfulness about the things I do with my time and with my money. So to get myself thinking in those terms, I swung from the end of the spectrum I had currently been on (stop and (window)shop whenever I felt like it) to closer to the other end of ceasing to put myself in the retail environment unless absolutely necessary (groceries, diapers, things like that). I wanted to ask myself questions like: "Why buy more when I have so much already? Do I want this or need this?"

Not being around things to buy really cut down on the need to ask myself both of those questions, so that may be my first New Behavior #1: Cut down on going into stores in general from here on out. Or if I do set up a time to check out the "merch" with a girlfriend or two (i.e. the Saginaw Thrift Store Adventure that my friend Laura is in the works of planning for the end of April) then don't go by myself at an earlier or later date just because I have a free moment. If I may use a more worldly example: it's kind of like the difference between being a social drinker and an alcoholic. Social drinkers are generally those who enjoy a beverage while with friends. However, a sign of being an alcoholic (according to the Substance Abuse class I took while in grad school) is that generally a person can't/won't wait to have a drink in a social setting - they'll be drinking all by themselves. The thought of that makes me sad.

Did I just admit to being a shop-a-holic? "Hi, my name is Joylynn, and I'm a shop-a-holic?" The crowd responds: "Hi, Joylynn."

New behavior #2: Be more of a social shopper. Notice I didn't say completely 100% all the time because it's not about legalism or extremes but rather moderation.

Wow, I'm having a breakthrough. Can anyone else see how this might be applied to other areas of living where the struggle is with moderation and self-control? In fact, Ephesians 5:8-14 speaks of this very idea:

Ephesians 5:8-14 (NIV) 8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth)10 and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. 14 This is why it is said: “Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

Sit and mull on that while I live out these last 48 hours of "No Spend" March.

"No Spend" March - I can't resist FREE

2011-03-22T15:45:00.004-05:00

Photo courtesy of walmart.com

Week 4 is testing my mettle. Tuesday, I was a sucker and couldn't resist the "free" table at MOPS where moms bring all sorts of fun things that they no longer want/need and leave it for the taking. Everything from housewares to kids toys, clothes, etc... I've scored brand new pillow cases, a glass cake stand, fun Christmas decorations, clothes for Pascal, candles, and more from that "free" table. God bless those MOPS moms.

I brought my own good sized bag of things convinced I wouldn't be taking any of it back home (the rule is that whatever you bring that isn't taken by someone else, you have to take it back with you again) and convinced I wouldn't be taking any of the other things either because after all, it is still that special month where I just say no to more stuff. Right.

I cracked quicker than a glass dish on a hot stove burner and said, "YES!" to swim trunks for Pascal for all his jaunts to the nearby pool this summer, a pristine infant-sized Pea Halloween costume that I had no idea when I'll be using but knew I'd need it someday..., and an unopened pack of Thank You cards. I decided right then and there that I'd just better extend myself some grace on breaking my own rule because there was no way on God's green earth I was passing up such finds (can you hear the defiance?)!

I did manage to unload a few of the things I'd brought, but not nearly enough so that I came home with just as full a bag as when I'd left.

I think I'm trying to muster up some remorse, but I'm honestly getting a little impatient to be done with this month. If I should accept this "No Spend" challenge again, I think I'm going to remove Rule #2.

"No Spend" March - Week 3 recap

2011-03-22T12:20:00.007-05:00

I promise this isn't a commentary about the fiscal habits of our government although I've always struggled to reconcile how it's ok for them to operate with a (huge) deficit and yet to be a responsible consumer, I'm advised (and practice) not to spend more than I make... Ironic?

But I digress. Week 3 of "No Spend" March is complete! Truthfully, my mind has been in so many other places with the loss and births of life (see previous posts) to friends around me during the last week. It was a week of reflection on more eternal concerns.

I did go big and go home on my latest grocery trip to Aldi and finally bought some much desired sea scallops. That's a big deal for me folks because I can't generally bring myself to drop a chunk of change on protein (they were $8.00. Redonkulous, I know.), but I'd been eyeing them for weeks now and finally just decided it would make at least one or two nights' dinners more exotic and keep me creative in kitchen.

One telling experience this past week was when I reconciled our purchases with the budget and realized that we were in fact exceeding our budget this month. Of all months. Good grief! Granted, our budget/billing cycle goes from the middle of one month to the middle of the next month so half of the purchases were from the last two weeks in February. Still, it made me wonder if we needed to:

a) adjust our budget to more accurately reflect our spending which would mean putting less into savings each month (read: easiest option) FYI: we tithe first, save second and then use what's left for everything else. I remember a sermon back in college where Pastor Scott McKee suggested a 10/10/80 approach: 10% returned to God (we believe that 100% comes from Him), 10% saved and 80% everything else. It was a good starting point although we soon realized that we'd have to save more than 10% to plan for retirement, kid(s) college education(s), replacing cars with no car payment, etc...

b) adjust our spending to meet the budget which would mean being even more disciplined and self-denying or (read: most challenging option)

c) Do both A and B which would still mean putting a little less into savings but also require us to be grown ups and not gratify our material desires beyond the parameters of our budget even when we know we're not living beyond our means.

Change is hard, and we haven't committed to "a", "b" or "c" because the status quo is the path of least resistance, however I really don't like seeing the red font in my budget spreadsheet that indicates the categories in which we went over. Especially when there is red font every single month.

I'd love to hear about your (all y'all as they say down South) approaches to budgeting and meeting the budget. Or not meeting it and what that compels you to do.

Double blessing!

2011-03-19T12:04:00.002-05:00

Yesterday morning we went to the hospital to meet little John Beckham Pitt, first child born to our friends John & Briana. He was born 12 days early in the wee small morning hours of March 17th and is healthy and beautiful. Briana labored faithfully sans pain medication for about 27 hours with the last almost 3 hours of it dedicated to pushing Beckham out, and John supported her the entire time without rest. We headed home with smiles on our faces, hearts warmed by spending time with God's creation.

Shortly after arriving home, I checked my email and lo and behold, our other friends Dan & Sarah had just sent out an email saying that their little boy (2nd son) was also born March 17th at night, 10 days early, and that they were hanging out in the hospital happy to welcome visitors. So we hopped back in the car and drove back to the hospital, went up the same elevator to the same floor and met Isaac Judah Haines, also healthy and beautiful. Oh the joy! We left with hearts truly bursting with thankfulness for healthy babies and healthy (if not tired) moms.

We praise God for these new lives!

Pause for some reflection

2011-03-16T14:49:00.005-05:00

Ecclesiastes 3:1-15

A Time for Everything

¹ There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens:

² a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

³ a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

Today has been a day that can only be described as one straight from the above scripture in Ecclesiastes. We mourned the loss of a newborn son at his funeral this morning. His mom is a friend through my MOPS group, and she with courage and trust in the Lord, carried Jacob to full term all the while knowing he would not live much beyond birth (he was diagnosed with anacephaly, a neural tube defect, at 12 weeks in utero) and at same time, my friend Briana is in labor with her first child, a son. In the midst of the grieving for Kathleen and James and the rejoicing for John and Briana, my thoughts have revolved around God's mercy and the hope we have because of Jesus. As Pastor Mark preached at the funeral service: "God is merciful and Jesus saves."

"No Spend" March - Week 2 review

2011-03-15T08:00:00.003-05:00

image courtesy of bitwords.com

Week 2 has been easier I think. Perhaps it was due to it coinciding with my birthday week. I think I'm going to try no-spend month again during a month I'm not guaranteed all kinds of gifts (not December for Christmas or May for our anniversary or August for my 1/2 birthday)...

I have definitely been ~~bending~~ breaking Rule #3. I stopped into Michaels to pick up supplies for a photography project Thor was working on.

Side note: did you know that Jo-Ann's and Michaels are owned by the same company? And you can use their coupons interchangeably (I've used a Jo-Ann's coupon at Michaels but haven't tried it the other way so you might want to call before you take my word as truth). Is one meant for women and the other for men?

I also volunteered to help a friend out who was feeling overwhelmed by Babies-R-Us and met her there to talk through things to put on their registry based on my huge, vast wealth of experience as a mother of a 1 year old. So I did spend an hour looking at oodles and oodles of things I didn't need but that Misty and Brian might with their little boy coming in July.

Our monthly budget cycle ends in a couple of days and as I was updating our Excel spreadsheet yesterday I realized that I had stayed on target with our grocery expenses - success! I think I can attribute it to being more intentional about not going to Aldi unless I needed to stock up for the week. Like my mom pointed out while she was here on Saturday, all those quick trips to pick up milk usually result in walking out with 10 more things you didn't plan on buying. So my strategy is to just not go in.

I'd love to hear how your week 2 of "No Spend"ing went!

Thoroughly Thirtieth Birthday Fun

2011-03-14T03:46:00.004-05:00

I can't almost describe the fun that I had celebrating my 30th birthday this past Wednesday (and Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday). But here's a try:

Day before birthday - Tuesday, March 8th

Thor inherited his insatiable desire to open presents early from his mom:) So to appease his cute yet insistent pleading request that I open my birthday gift from him the night before my birthday, I tore into the wrapping paper and lo and behold found a fancy schmancy immersion blender! I had worn my previous one out (a great gift from my sister a few years earlier) making baby food, smoothies, cream of "insert vegetable here" soup, etc... and was seriously missing it. It makes a conventional blender obsolete!

Actual birthday - Wednesday, March 9th

Thor had been leaving me verses from Psalms each morning of my birthday week, which started me off in the right frame of mind, counting my many blessings from God. My dear friend, Briana, came over in the afternoon for birthday tea after I taught piano lessons earlier in the day. Thor came home from work with fresh flowers, Lucky Charms (my favorite cereal I never buy) and "Nanny McPhee Returns." He baked up an oven pancake and made homemade applesauce (with the immersion blender) for breakfast, and after putting Pascal to bed we enjoyed the lighthearted movie. I received calls, emails and Facebook greetings throughout the day, lovely reminders that I have fabulous friends and family. My sister sent me an email letting me know that daffodil bulbs would be coming in the mail for me to plant and enjoy for years to come!

Thursday, March 10th

Pascal and I went on our weekly tea-time visit to Evelyn, our former up-stairs neighbor who has been a friend to us since we moved to Saginaw and through my pregnancy and Pascal's birth and to the present. She is Pascal's adopted great-grandma:) She had baked up a wee birthday cake for me and we spent the hour talking about all kinds of things as we do each week.

Friday, March 11th

This was the long awaited day that Thor had been planning the girls only birthday party I'd requested a few months back. It was also my annual visit to the gynecologist, which was as usual a good experience. I found out later that morning that I was to go over to Teagan's house at 4:30 p.m. but the rest was a surprise. I picked up my friend Laura Burns and we got to Teagan's where she, Laura Johnson, Briana and Katy Shadid were waiting. We started with a craft that Teagan planned involving cutting out shapes from old books and sewing them together to make garland. Then we ate chinese take out that Thor delivered to our door (he took a break from his guys-only cook out he was having at home). We had cake, and I opened gifts from the girls, wonderful wonderful gifts that showed me that these ladies knew my taste. The gifts included:

*Bath & Body Works lotion/body wash/perfume/pink H20 water bottle,

*a robin eggshell blue casserole dish that makes food look beautiful, and

*a soft and comfy chair for our bedroom that Laura J. and Teagan had bought beautiful fabric for recovering (I get to help with the project!).

The last activity of the night proved to be so creative an outlet that I'm still wowed by the results:

It was a night I'll never forget - thank you to Thor and to the girls for making it happen!

Saturday, March 12th

My parents and brother, David came up for lunch and another birthday celebration! Thor cooked out on the grill and we enjoyed apple pie and ice cream and some of the above pictured cupcakes for dessert. My family spoiled me some more with gifts of clothing and a U.S. Savings Bond (always practical, Dad:).

Sunday, March 13th

We headed down state to celebrate my niece's dedication at church and 1st birthday! After church went to my sister and brother-in-law's home for lunch and festivities. Kara was so kind as to gift me tulips in honor of my March birthday (as well as my mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law's birthdays. Kara's birthday is also in March) and my mother and father in law treated me to some birthday "magic" (what we call $$ in our family).

What a blessed girl I am. Blessed by the people in my life. Blessed by their thoughtfulness. Blessed by the God who made each blessing.

My Shirley Temple niece

2011-03-13T18:47:00.003-05:00

This is my niece, MacKenzie who just turned 1 year old today, March 13th. Is she not a total Shirley Temple doll baby!?

Glorious mess!

2011-03-10T10:59:00.002-06:00

You know when there is so much mess around you it's laughable? I looked around at the mess that Pascal had made (ok, the kitchen was a joint effort by Thor and me), laughed for a minute, took a picture and then set to making things right again.

Turning 30

2011-03-09T09:08:00.004-06:00

So mom and dad, remember that email I sent you when I was studying in Spain during college asking if I could get a tattoo? Remember dad, how you promised to cut off all financial support if I went through with it? I'm 30 now, financially independent, and I've been thinking...

Just kidding;) But I am 30 now which means that I'll have to think about what my response will be one day if Pascal asks me the same question. Praise God, it's been a great 30 years so far!

Guest blogger @ Ever After Blueprint

2011-03-07T08:03:00.005-06:00

I've been given the great honor of being a guest blogger over at Ever After Blueprint for their "Front Door" series. Check it out!

In other news, Pascal is trying to climb on top of everything that seems feasible to him, stable or not. I call him Pascal "Danger" Rasmussen.

"No Spend" March: Week 1 Summary

2011-03-06T11:42:00.005-06:00

Week 1 of "No Spend" March ended yesterday.

A synopsis of the past week would include:

-No temptation to check out Craistlist even a little!

-Went to the mall, and used it for good not evil: exercise and social time.

-Bought a gift for Thor, returned a gift for Thor. Plan to re-buy it at a later time.

-I'm really enjoying reading about other people's experiences with "No Spend" ing.

-Identified at least 3 of my default Justifications.

-Have delayed purchasing a number of things because we could certainly do without it for a few months even if it might cost us a little more in April to buy it. Remember, the lesson for me is "restraint" and "thoughtfulness" not "buy now to save a few bucks."

Only 4 more weeks to go, and it's my birthday month. I reviewed my list of Rules and it didn't exactly say I couldn't receive birthday presents... It (I) just said that there was to be, and I quote: "No purchasing/acquiring (even if free!) items for our home such as furniture, decorative items, supplies to make something for our home (fabric, sewing stuff, paint, random pretty chotchikes...), organizational items, office supplies, etc...

Oh dear, what a conundrum. Thor, honey, let that be some direction for what not to buy me. Food is still an option!

I'm going to let grace be the rule of the day tomorrow when I turn the big 3-0 and this weekend when I have celebrations with friends and family. By the way, did you know that I share a birthday with such inspirational figures as:

Emmanuel Lewis (aka "Webster")

"No Spend" March - Falling off the wagon and it's only Day 4

2011-03-05T08:20:00.004-06:00

I can't imagine that this month of "No Spend" ing would be as meaningful for me or as amusing for you if I didn't have some failure(s), I mean, learning experiences. It only took 4 days to have the first one. I can't go into great detail as the item purchased in question is a gift for a loved one, so I'll describe in general terms what happened.

I was meeting with my friend Laura at B&N this past Friday (Barnes & Noble for you non-shoppers) for some quality girl time and happened upon that thing I'd had on my running list of gifts for Thor. I had to get it! I mean, it was a gift for my beloved (Justification Attempt #1). I even had a gift card that covered most of the cost (Justification Attempt #2). I was right there in the store and to make another trip at a later time would cost me more in gas, not very practical (Justification Attempt #3). It only took me about a nanosecond to let those thoughts walk my body right over to the checkout counter, and just like that, it was mine, I mean, Thor's. I imagined with glee giving it to my dear husband who of course would receive it with pleasure and thanksgiving.

Well, upon arriving home and starting a International Pancake Day celebration dinner with the Carnes' and Johnsons, I mentioned in passing that I had found a little something something at B&N. Thor immediately exclaimed, "Take it back! Take it back now!" Not the reaction I was expecting. In vain, I tried to tell him all the reasons the purchase was a good one, but he didn't cave. The debate actually got a little heated, and I think poor Beau, Teagan, Cody & Laura were starting to feel a little uncomfortable. I imagined them thinking, "Should we be listening to this conversation? What on earth is this item that is so controversial? Do they fight like this all the time? Is their marriage on the brink of disaster?" As the girls mentioned later, much to my amusement, they thought we might be referring to a purchased pregnancy test, thankfully not an item that would be a source of conflict for us.

Thor may have come off a little abrupt in his attempt to steer me back towards being faithful to my "No Spend" March challenge, but it was quite an "ah-ha!" moment when I realized that I do in fact have a list of excuses that I conveniently use to allow myself to buy many a doo-dad. Excuses like "Generosity," "It's a deal!" "I'm here, I might as well buy it now and save myself a future trip," etc... But they had been revealed for what they were!

The next day, I returned the gift item to B&N with plans, come April 1st, to head back to the store and re-purchase it. And just to make sure I didn't forget, I got the refund in the form of store credit...

What noble or not-so-noble justifications do you find yourself using?

"No Spend " March - In the name of socialization

2011-03-03T09:32:00.007-06:00

Pascal is clearly entertained by Uncle David

There's a pretty popular phenomena happening in Saginaw. Perhaps also all around Michigan and the US of A. It's called "mall walking." I went yesterday morning to our local mall and met up with my friends, Katy (has a 9 month old son) and Briana (expecting her first child, a son at the end of March) to get in some walking and talking. I realized after I had set up the engagement that I was already breaking one rule of my "No Spend" March guidelines: no going into retail stores except to buy a necessity. And clearly the mall does not carry any necessities (unless you call electronic cigarettes a necessity - there's a kiosk there dedicated to marketing and selling these "quit smoking" tools). But in the name of socializing and mutual encouragement amongst friends, I went ahead with it anyway. We walked: three abreast, two with strollers and a fit but very pregnant lady. We talked: about the early months of motherhood and what we would have done differently or the same in regards to our labors and delivery if we had it to do all over again (I would have brought my own fluffy bathrobe). We achieved what we set out to do.

And in the end, I didn't look at a single solitary piece of merchandise. Why? Because it's "No Spend" March, and I don't need a single solitary thing.

"No Spend" March - Commencing thoughts

2011-02-27T16:07:00.006-06:00

As this month of "No Spend" ing begins, I already have a few initial thoughts.

I need to be ok with minimal $$ savings. I told Thor one night before bed this weekend that I wish I were doing something really drastic and only living on $100 for the month (excluding the required expenses) because I'm sure that would amaze and wow all my readership (all 5 of you out there in blog-landia). But then I had to remember that my goal is not to amaze and wow others, it's to see change in me, however small those changes might be. So, I might only save $50 this month but hopefully I'll learn some lessons that will help me be more balanced in my spending in the future - and that could reap much, much more!

This isn't going to be as easy as I initially thought. Already I have internally debated about whether I can buy a new nasal aspirator for Pascal (you know, those blue things you stick up a baby's nose to suck out the boogies). A $2.00 purchase, but is it a necessity? It might be if this little cold he has suddenly turns super boogery. Or maybe we can find other methods to help his breathe easy since he hates, hates, hates getting his nose cleaned out via the aspirator? Do you see the intense deliberation going on?

I need to put things into the time I would have been spending shopping (both in a store or online). The past few days, I've thought about what Luke 11:24-26 says, and what I've heard taught about this passage. I remember a sermon that talked about how that man who has been emptied of the evil spirit needs to then invite the Holy Spirit in to fill him because otherwise, the space in him is still there, open and perhaps even more vulnerable to being filled with any other bad thing that might come his way. But if filled with God's Spirit, there is no room for evil spirits to set up shop again. Pertinent, I think, to this month's challenge. In this month as I empty my house (metaphorically) of this habit that has been causing me to be wasteful with my time and resources, I want to purposefully insert something else so that I'm not sitting about with idle time. How does the old saying go, "Idle hands are the devil's playground?" I'm not advocating for jam packing every little second because then that doesn't make for a very simple life, does it?

So, some things I've already decided to insert more of (thoughtfully):

Reading - my sister invited me to be in a book club (is it a club if there are only 2 of you?) for the month. We're going to start on Pride & Prejudice and talk over the phone once a week. I'm really looking forward to it.

Playing with Pascal - he's pretty good at playing by himself, but sometimes I have to remember that it's really important to engage in play with him and put the dirty dishes aside.

For those of you are participating in "No Spend" March, what initial thoughts are you having as the month begins?

Mystery weekend trip unveiling

2011-02-27T14:11:00.013-06:00

Thor took me on a mystery trip this weekend and there were many good parts that made up a very good whole.

Family

We started our journey on Friday afternoon heading to Livonia where my sister-in-law and her family live. Great time with the nieces and Mike & Kara! And Mark (bearded man in the middle), Thor's younger brother, who lives and works in Adrian, was also on our list of people to spend time with (more later on why we were in Adrian, MI, my birthplace city). Mike & Kara took care of Pascal overnight so Thor and I could have a day/night to ourselves.

IKEA

A trip to IKEA, only 15 minutes from Livonia. It was still February so I had every intention and opportunity to spend some $$. But a very strange thing happened: we walked through the whole of the store, both levels, and though I picked up this thing and that, I had no desire for any of it. I think that my mind was already gearing itself up for "No Spend" March! It was Thor's 1st time in an IKEA and his last as far as he was concerned.

Ring Snuggies

My wedding rings have lately been in the habit (as if they have their own free will) of sliding off my finger, especially this winter. 5 times it's happened without me realizing where they were. And 5 times God has helped me find them. But Thor was beginning to use that phrase, "Joy, you're killing me!" so I knew it was time to find a solution. Enter RING SNUGGIES!

Shamrock Shakes

I haven't had one in years but shoot, when you're in Adrian, MI with your husband and the kid is being well cared for, it's worth celebrating! We may have also ordered 20 chicken McNuggets for $4.99 and brought them back to the hotel and eaten them while watching "Say Yes to the Dress". My husband loves me.

Shoe shopping

And not even for me (again, no desire, check my pulse)! Thor needed something besides his silver spray painted beat up tennis shoes with hot orange shoelaces, men's dress shoes, and woodsman duck boots. We found them at a store, unbeknown to him, PayLess. Twenty minutes later, he walked out with classic and contemporary. For a steal ($23 and change).

Meeting a legend (in my books)

The main event of our mystery weekend was a day long marriage conference (Thor knows me and the things that make me squeal too well) in Adrian. Dr. Gary Chapman, yes, THE Gary Chapman of The Five Love Languages fame led "The Marriage You've Always Wanted" conference. We laughed, others cried, and in the end, we were encouraged, challenged and reminded why working hard to have the best marriage we can is so important, not just for our own enjoyment but for the goal of having a strong and healthy family and then impacting other people's lives around us. Thor, you scored an A+ on this mystery weekend!

Tomorrow begins "No Spend" March. I'm excited and curious to see what comes of it. I'm already planning on investing some of the time to be in a long-distance book club with my sister (Pride & Prejudice, here we come!).

"No Spend" March: Part II - The Rules

2011-02-23T13:38:00.006-06:00

The Rules for "no spend" March (you can modify to fit your situation if you choose to take part):

1. No purchasing apparel of any kind (clothes,shoes, accessories, cosmetics, etc...) for myself, Thor, Pascal or any future children we might have regardless of how cute/inexpensive they might be.

2. No purchasing/acquiring (even if free!) items for our home such as furniture, decorative items, supplies to make something for our home (fabric, sewing stuff, paint, random pretty chotchikes...), organizational items, office supplies, etc...

3. No going on Craigslist, to Goodwill/other thrift stores, other retail stores except to buy necessities (as outlined in #4), perusing estate sales in the area (already took myself off the email list), etc...

4. Money will be spent on necessities (mortgage, tithing/other giving, utilities, gas for the car, groceries [we keep ours to $160/month], medical care if needed, am I forgetting anything?)

5. *Money will also be spent on "experiences" as already accounted for in our budget (a $50 total that can include eating out, going to a museum, renting from the Red Box, etc...).

All of these rules are designed to a) create healthier boundaries on how I spend my time and money and b) allow some freedom for spending within those boundaries. Not too extreme on either side. Which is exactly what I'm going for.

I'd love to have you join me if you so feel led. If you are in for the month of March, let me know the rules you've set for yourself (via comment on my blog or email) and how you're doing throughout the month! I'll be posting a weekly update too.

Here's to freedom and a more simple life!

*If Rule #5 seems like cheating to you, I've determined I'd rather spend money on experiences that result in quality time spent with others than on material possessions that I'll have to find a place to store and dust off occasionally.

"No Spend" March: Part I

2011-02-23T09:56:00.008-06:00

I was convicted about how I've been spending too much of my idle time (i.e. scoping out the good deals/thrift shopping) after reading and identifying with The Nester's blog this past Monday and was further challenged when reading another blog Nester linked her readers to: Small Notebook for a simple home.

The author of this blog writes about that which I really do desire to have: a more simple life which for me would mean less stuff, less noise (one of the reasons why we don't have a t.v. and like it that way), less full schedules (of course that's relative to everyone but I think we live a pretty stress free schedule), etc... LESS is the key word, but I'm always struggling with wanting to add more to my home because something happened to "such a great deal."

So enters "No spend" March. This is not my first time taking a break from retail therapy (just admit it for what it is ladies). Back a few years ago I was really convicted about this issue because I did finally realize that I did a fair amount of shopping for the thrill of finding a great deal and sometimes when I was feeling bored/sad/irritated/insert emotion here______.

I wanted to demonstrate some self control and really begin asking myself the question, "Do I want this or need this?" And the answer was more often than not - want. For a whole school year I committed to not buying myself any new clothes no matter how good the price. The result: I felt liberated! Free from adding more clutter to my already well-stocked wardrobe and strengthened to know I could say, "no." I'm sure I went through and got rid of things I wasn't wearing on a regular basis too which enhanced the experience.

Well that was a few years ago and it was just clothes. Now it's a few years later and with a new home to furnish/decorate and a husband and a 1 year old, it's a lot more tempting to buy not just for me, but for them. I mean, think of the children!

This is not about going over budget (although sometimes that does happen) or being stretched financially because of thoughtless, fruitless spending because Thor and I are pretty frugal and serious savers (a huge thank you to our parents for instilling those values in us), but the issue was more about the principle of the matter - why buy more when I have so much already?

God talks a lot about money in the Bible and he challenges us to be good stewards of what he gives us, be wise in saving & investing for the future, thoughtful about spending, and generous to others. One of the fruits of the Spirit is "self control." For me, living with self control means being able to say "no" or "not now" with a free and light heart, without angst (like the time(s) I paced back and forth in a store muttering to myself about whether or not to buy the $5.00 shirt) or guilt. I've swung back and forth on the pendulum from "buy nothing you don't need, really need" to "buy it because it's a ridiculously good deal and don't think twice," I'm seeking a middle ground where I am thoughtful and self controlled yet not burdened by the purchase if I do decide to make it. Can anyone relate or is this all my own neuroticism?

If you are nodding your head in agreement as you're reading or feeling a slight knot in your stomach, perhaps you'll be interested in participating in this March monthly challenge. If so, see my next post for The Rules.

"Poor man's" bulletin board

2011-02-21T13:05:00.006-06:00

Our built-in-desk by the window (one of the many practical features of our home, including that ever necessary wet bar replete with mirror tile wall just off the kitchen) had become a bit of a dumping ground that lacked aesthetic and practical organization. I'd been thinking about a decorative bulletin board to help with the piles and to add some warmth to the space, but was feeling a bit too frugal and too creative to buy one.

I'd looked at buying cork board and covering it up with my favorite fabric but was also feeling a bit too ~~frugal~~ cheap. Thor came up with a brilliant idea of using foam core board, the kind you can get at the dollar store and the kind that he already had in his man cave. I pounced on his recommendation and took some remnant burlap that I'd purchased at Jo-Ann's for such a time as this, to attach it (with many staples) to the two-layers of FCB. It's not as sturdy as one would be made of cork which is why I call it a "poor man's" bulletin board, but it does the job I need it to. I have an extra one too for anyone in the Saginaw viewing area (read: FREE) who may be interested.

Wreaths everywhere

2011-02-21T11:57:00.010-06:00

As you might remember, I recently started making use of my sizeable "long-running" collection (some go back as far as 2007, ooh!) greeting card collection with help from Good Housekeeping to create decorative wreaths for our home. My first was just in time for Pascal's 1st birthday:

The next was made for his nursery...

And lastly, the one that took me the longest because of all those darn holly leaf shapes to cut out, was the Christmas themed one ready for Christmas 2012.

If you like what you see and have old greeting cards, toothpicks, a hot glue gun, and a Styrofoam wreath, you too can make one in no time at all. I'm considering one using our many wedding cards, but where would I put it...?

What love is

2011-02-21T11:56:00.003-06:00

I know that according to God, love is not just words and definitely not just feelings but instead demonstrated by action, generally self-sacrificing action. I experienced this kind of love this past weekend courtesy of my dear husband!

We had only a little scheduled on the calendar for the weekend, waiting to see how things unfolded, and it entered my mind that I'd been wanting to have some girlfriend time and have an annual viewing of the BBC/A&E production of Pride & Prejudice (in my mind, the best version to date). I'd talked with Laura & Teagan about it a little while back and with just a few phone calls, it all clicked into place.

Thor made it possible for me to go to Teagan's and watch one portion of it with the girls (did I mention it's 5 hours long?) on Friday afternoon and then finish it up on Saturday. He encouraged me to go, assured me that he and Pascal would have a good time without me and even suggested when I thought I would come home early and plan for a third day to finish it, that I stay and he'd get Pascal ready for bed.

Small peanuts to some, but such a big demonstration of love for this mama who hasn't had that many hours in a row to herself since Pascal was born.

And another thing I learned!

2011-02-16T15:06:00.001-06:00

How to take in a shirt that wasn't fitting well: http://grosgrainfabulous.blogspot.com/2010/11/embellish-knit-month-day-11.html

I've done this to at least 2 cardigan sweaters and one button up dress shirt and it's worked beautifully!

What I've been learning...

2011-02-16T12:19:00.002-06:00

Learning new skills, even minor ones, really reminds me that learning is indeed a life long process and what keeps people interesting (to ourselves and to others), growing and developing, and energetic. Listen to me talk as if I'm having a mid-life crisis. I'm only turning 30 in about a month (March 9th to be exact) so this isn't a post lamenting aging. In fact, I'm excited to turn a year older, regardless of the age.

But I digress.

Really I wanted to share that I've recently learned and put into practice a skill that may have very well changed my life. You're on the edge of your chair with baited breath waiting to read what it could possibly be.

Hemming jeans to look like they haven't been hemmed at all.

"So what?" you say? "Revolutionary!" I say!

If you were born and grew up into the "vertically challenged" category of height descriptions (generally listed as 5 foot 3 and shorter), than you'll relate when I say finding pants that fit well can be a challenge. Sure they make "Petite" jeans, trousers, khakis, etc... but let's be honest and admit that many of them are found in the less modern clothes section of the store and often times have elastic waistbands and are made up of synthetic fibers (i.e. polyester), something I'm not interested in wearing at the present. Just my personal preference style so please don't take offense if your wardrobe includes these items. I'm sure mine will too in 20+ years.

Even "Petite" jeans are sometimes too long for me (all 5 foot 1 3/4 inches of me) so I have to decide: "Do I wear jeans that drag on the ground and get all torn up at the bottoms and look grunge?" or "Do I wear jeans that are a little awkwardly short (the, and I kid you not, "Short cut" Petite Jeans made for the shortest of the short) and feel self conscious?"

I've found a better answer: hem them to fit perfectly!

But isn't tailoring expensive and for the elite bourgeois? Not anymore! With the help of my sister who referred me to DaciaRay.com I learned how to make this dream a reality. And I've been proudly wearing my brand new looking The Limited brand jeans from Goodwill ($3.99 boo yah!) many times each week knowing that nobody (except Thor), well now, not nobody, can tell they've been taken up 3 inches.

Shorties out there, let this change your life. And for your "tall" pants wearing ladies, perhaps there is a blog out there with instructions about how to lengthen pants beyond the hem.

Pascal's 1st Valentine?

2011-02-13T19:56:00.003-06:00

Daddy Thorbucks (Annie pun) has not been shy about letting his feelings be known that he has a sweet little girl in mind for his Pascal. And in his attempt to woo the parents of said little girl, he, I mean, Pascal, sent sweet Sarah Claire a Valentine request:

To my sister

2011-02-01T11:39:00.002-06:00

It's a snow day in Fairfax, VA and evidently my sister is feeling a bit cooped up:) We're supposed to be getting our own snow day tomorrow as it's been forcasted for our neck of Michigan to be getting up to 12 inches of snow starting tonight and through tomorrow. So it's a good thing that I'm going out today to run errands and visit Goodwill (my guilty pleasure).

We went to Zehnder's Snowfest this past Saturday and Pascal endured the cold graciously bundled up in his Ironman snowsuit and blankets. Of course if he had words to use, he probably would have said, "I can't feel my fingers or toes. Please take me inside, NOW!" Because that's what I was saying after about an hour outdoors.

Living/Music Room improvements

2011-01-24T18:25:00.007-06:00

Sometimes I feel like God sends a good deal my way, just to

bless me when he knows much I want a particular something. Perhaps I'm over-spiritualizing things, but if all

good things come from God, then this red (my favorite color) La-Z-Boy pull-out sofa and chair with ottoman (it's very old but I really like it) find on Craigslist this past week is straight from him!

With the help of kind and resourceful friends (props to Thor, Beau, Brian, Laura and Teagan), we moved the piano to the other inside wall across the room, moved the bookshelf and red cabinets into opposite corners and made a well-defined "sitting space" and "music space." I feel so much more satisfied with the feel of that once, really hodge-podge kind of room. Now it's only kind of hodge-podgy;)

Birthday challenge.

2011-01-24T09:01:00.005-06:00

Success!

How to use a lot of potatoes

2011-01-24T08:25:00.005-06:00

(food styling photo courtesy of THORtography)

At Christmas time, my dad gave Thor and I a GIANT bag of new potatoes (10-15 pounds) from a local Lapeer farmer. Lovely! But how to use them all? Two new recipes I've enjoyed are: potato pancakes (aka "latkes") and potato bacon soup.

Potato Pancakes

ingredients

4 large potatoes, peeled
1 large onion
2 eggs
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder

Directions

Shred potatoes and onion; rinse with cold water. Drain very well. In a large bowl, combine the shredded potatoes, onion, eggs, flour, salt, and baking powder. Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto a hot, greased skillet. Cook over medium heat about 10 minutes or until golden brown, turning once.

Potato Soup with Bacon and Parmesan

3 slices bacon, chopped

2 medium onions, chopped

1 large garlic clove, minced

3/4 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. dried rosemary, crumbled (I never have this so I didn't use it)

1/4 tsp. ground pepper

2 pounds baking potatoes (3 large) - I leave the skins on and then cut into chunks

2 cans (14 1/2 oz. each) chicken broth - I use bouillon cubes

1 cup water

1 small bunch spinach (8 oz), chopped - I didn't have this at the time but I'm sure it would add some great taste

3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

1/2 cup milk (I used heavy cream because it needed to be used up)

Directions:

Cook bacon over medium heat in soup pot/dutch oven until browned. With slotted spoon, transfer bacon to a bowl. To bacon drippings, add onions, and cook until golden. Stir in garlic, salt, rosemary and pepper. Cook 1 minute. Stir in potatoes, broth and water. Heat to boiling over high heat. Reduce heat, cover and simmer until potatoes are tender (10-15 minutes). Remove and set aside 2 cups of soup. Stir spinach into soup. Puree/blend the 2 cups of soup and add back into rest of soup. Stir in bacon, Parmesan cheese and milk. Heat through. Serves 8.

*I served with chopped green onions and shredded cheddar cheese as well.

Birthday creations

2011-01-24T07:57:00.007-06:00

A re-usable stuffed banner for many birthdays to come (Liz Joynt Sandberg receives credit for making the one I saw that inspired me to try making my own). Credit to Teagan Carnes for the fabric.

Looking for a way to use those greeting cards you've saved over the years (I have mine organized by genre)? Good Housekeeping gave me the direction I needed to make this Birthday Wreath. I also plan to make a Christmas Wreath and Baby Room Wreath.

(http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/holiday-ideas/christmas-wreath-projects).

Salute to my sister's crazy crafty skills! Gorgeous reusable, double ply, machine stitched streamers that can be used for any kind of party. Thank you for sending us these, Christene! They also graced Teagan's 27th birthday party at her home on Friday.

"'Twas the afternoon before Pascal's 1st birthday..."

2011-01-24T07:54:00.005-06:00

Note: No babies were hurt in the events that transpired. And my ability to rhyme is rather poor.

" 'Twas the afternoon before Pascal's first birthday and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The birthday decorations were hung in the dining room with care and plans for parties and fun were in the air. Pascal was napping quietly in his room, and I in my kitchen was just getting ready for some lunch and rest. When all of a sudden there arose a little clatter (literally a clattering sound). I went to the nursery to see what was the matter, and what to my wondering eyes should appear but Pascal awake in his crib, with rails collapsed near! No cries or squawks did he make but instead sat there calmly while I exclaimed, "You broke your crib!" From that point on, we set up a new bed. In his Pack n' Play would he rest his little head. His father came home that evening, and I, said, "You have to see what your son did!" We took the now defunct crib down to the basement and wondered if we should buy a new one to replace it, but as Pascal has now slept 5 days fine as can be we've decided to let him remain there until he's ready for a toddler bed wee."

The End.

Birthday week at the Razz's

2011-01-18T10:08:00.007-06:00

Pascal is turning one tomorrow. What?! I know, back the truck up. Wasn't it just yesterday that he came home from the hospital on a frigid January night, a tiny little glow-worm of a baby at 7 lbs 9 oz?

Anyone who knows Thor and I even a little know that we're tickled that Pascal is a part of our family and that he's added all kinds of fun to our lives. Even when as of the past few days, he's started fighting going down for naps/bed time. He's doing that really sad, "Mom, don't make me go to sleep!" crying and reaching out his arms toward me. And I have to just be firm (with myself) and close the door behind me and let him wail like he's being forced to do heavy manual labor. Thankfully he settles down pretty quickly but this new/repeat phase is a little trying.

We're going to celebrate up a storm with friends Wednesday evening and then with family on Saturday afternoon. The celebrating will include talking, eating, singing, watching the traditional 1st sampling of birthday sweets, and perhaps a little gift opening (though I've instructed our loved ones to resist buying things for Pascal and instead consider adding to his college savings account).

Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a gift, of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Sandra Lee, I feel a little let down

2011-01-04T12:35:00.007-06:00

I wanted to like it, really love it, because I actually had the ingredients for the dish, a rarity if you know my cooking style. What's not to love about macaroni and cheese, lots of fresh Gouda, spinach, and bacon? Ok, I did substitute bacon bits for real bacon because I'd forgotten I'd used the last of the pig up in a previous recipe, my first mistake perhaps?

The picture made it look so gourmet and personal sized, recommending that you cook it in little ramekins, like a personal pan pizza only really pretty (which I didn't do because I don't own said ramekins). But after the first bite, both Thor and I agreed that it just didn't do much for us.

And since I'm incapable of wasting food, it's part of my DNA, and think it would be the antithesis of demonstrating my love for Thor by putting it in his lunch for work the next 3 days (did I mention it made a LOT of macaroni), I've set about to finishing it off by myself, one hunk at a time.

Lesson learned: sometimes Semi-Homemade is really just semi-tasty.

Hack, hack, cough, cough, sneeze, sniff

2011-01-04T12:24:00.009-06:00

So as previously mentioned in my last post, Pascal and I are fighting Colds, although I think we might be on the losing side today. I like to think I pick up after myself and keep things generally tidy while Thor is away at work (it's easier sometimes when he's away...), but goodness, this Cold is distracting me. I had to laugh when I noticed this trail I'd left in my wake. Count 'em, all somewhat used to very used, not making it to the trash can for no good reason. I know, a little disgusting.

As the new year begins

2011-01-03T15:26:00.003-06:00

2011.

There, I wrote it - the first time writing 2011 so I don't forget it's not still 2010. As I've grown older, I generally have less trouble remembering that it's a new year when writing checks, filling out forms requesting the, date, etc...

2011.

I don't know what else the year will bring, but so far it has brought a beautiful unusually warm day (January 1st was 45 degrees here in Saginaw, warm enough for me to want to be outside doing yard work and taking a walk), colds to Pascal and I (blech), and a whopper of a heating bill.

Christmas was a good time with family and friends, and a joy to watch Pascal take it all in, though I'm not sure how much he "got it." To prepare our hearts and minds during the Advent season, Thor and I read through The Jesus Storybook Bible which has gorgeous pictures and a great way of reminding us that Jesus is the point of every single part of the Bible, both Old and New testaments. It technically belongs to Pascal, a great gift from Dan & Sarah Haines when Pascal was a wee thing, but I'm glad we read it because that's the bible we'll use for him until he grows bigger.

("Cough, cough, hack, hack" says Pascal from his crib - his cold is totally messing with his naps)

New Years was spent with friends at our home eating lots of tasty treats, where we rang in the new year at 11:30 p.m. Teagan had to work the next morning very early so we gave her a slightly earlier bedtime.

It's pretty bleak outdoors at the moment, and I'm feeling it a little extra. I try to remind myself that joy in the Lord does not come from my circumstances or the weather or keeping the thermostat turned up. It comes from believing and regularly celebrating the fact, if only in my mind, that Jesus came into the world as a baby, lived a perfect though not painless life and then followed through on his mission to sacrifice his own life to save all of us even while we were still making a mess of things. That should warm my insides more than a hot cup of cocoa and my fuzzy blue bathrobe.

Ups and downs

2010-12-12T20:14:00.005-06:00

This weekend has been one of "ups" and "downs" but mostly "ups" (and if I'm careful to reframe the "downs" I can turn them into "ups").

Friday we enjoyed a trip to Zehnders with our church for their annual Christmas dinner. A definite "up". Our dear friends Teagan and Beau were so kind as to agree to hang out with Pascal, and all was going well until my phone rang at the dinner table. It was Beau saying that Pascal had been crying for the past half hour and wasn't willingly sucking down his bedtime bottle. A strange behavior for him (where there is food, there is Pascal). We talked a bit and Beau said he and Teagan would keep on trying to distract him from his crying and help him cheer up, but it weighed a little heavy on my mind and brow to think of Pascal sobbing and fighting the sleep that he generally welcomes at night. It's a little harder to enjoy a date with those thoughts in mind.

When we got home, they had done a wonderful job of using Peek A Boo to coax him into finishing his bottle and going to bed. We brought ice cream to demonstrate our appreciation and closed the night on a better note, an "up".

Saturday was a rare day in that we hadn't planned any social opportunities. Instead we ran errands together as a family and rested. A day of rest, imagine that? A very nice "up."

I should add (for those of you who haven't heard), that a BIG "up" earlier on in the week was the email that Thor received reporting that Pascal had WON his category for the initial round of voting for the Gerber Generation Photo Contest. What does this mean? It means that out of 6000 babies in his category (just during the month of October), he got the most votes thanks to ALL of you who voted! And it means that he will go onto the final round where only 36 babies make it to then have the judges select the 1 grand prize winner to win the college scholarship/photo shoot. We'll find out who the big winner is in January sometime. Suddenly the 1 out of 36 odds seem a lot more possible than 1 out of 215,000+ babies who had been entered.

Today, Sunday, full of "ups" - great fellowship and teaching at church. The kiddos put on their Christmas Cantata replete with a violin solo, cute songs and guitars playing carols. Very sweet. We headed home very slowly due to icy conditions when the "down" happened - a truck moving very slowly slid into the side of our car just a mile from our house. Everyone is fine (UP!), no injuries (UP!), but the car has a big dent in the side door and the window was busted out. Driveable, but not driveable in the winter with such a draft. Sigh...though maybe this is the opportunity to get that minivan Thor's been dreaming about (we'll see what the insurance company says about the value of our car and the cost of repairs).

So in the mean time we'll see how life is with one car worth driving. My social life may be curbed, or I'll just convince people to come to me! I'm thankful for friends who live close by who are able and willing to help us get to where we need to go.

One last "up." Pascal is getting his top two front teeth in - just in time for Christmas!

Christmas creations

2010-12-01T11:41:00.010-06:00

The Christmas crafty bug has bit me, and I just have to scratch that itch. My sister and I were talking about how we have been loving our sewing machines (thanks Mom for getting it for me!) although I've still never done anything other than a basic stitch... There's something just something about "creating" or in some cases, "modifying" a decorative item to make it look more like my kind of decorative item that makes a girl feel good. And I'm not even talking about big projects!

A bare little straw wreath got the shabby chic tie rag cover up

This artificial poinsettia once had a gold foil covering.

I replaced it with red corduroy and a satin green bow and trimmed the height down.

My favorite project so far: a rustic-ish cloth banner I can reuse every year.

I also made one saying "Feliz Navidad" for Spanish friends of ours.

And a close up of some of the letters

Pascal, ever in motion these days.

Pascal's exclusive interview!

2010-11-22T06:00:00.001-06:00

Thor interviewed Pascal just recently to get his thoughts on the whole Gerber Baby contest:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoLwK92e2oU

Vote for Pascal: update

2010-11-18T07:11:00.003-06:00

Well, it was a good thing I decided to take the time to begin sorting through the 5950 other Crawler contestants yesterday morning (5949 technically) to see if there were any babies who had garnered a lot of votes because we found a cutie who has snuck up from literally out of my radar to be 150 votes ahead of Pascal!

Can you imagine my blood pressure going up a bit when I blinked twice and wondered if what I was seeing was true!? But alas, it is and so we are back in 2nd but with 12 days to go there is still time to vote Pascal back into first.

As of this moment, she is 72 votes ahead (Pascal - 1630, "Cutie girl" - 1700, but Thor did a little recon work and found she lives on the West Coast (Kari, Chad, your neck of the woods) so with the 3 hour time difference her votes don't always pack on until the end of the day. So if you live on the West Coast, please help us get the vote out to your friends and family there!

www.gerber.com/photo/#/vote

Update: Pascal the next Gerber Baby?

2010-11-16T17:12:00.003-06:00

Checking out cousin Josiah

Thanks to each of you dear readers (you are voting aren't you?) Pascal is currently in the lead in his age category!!

He has moved ahead slowly, although the lead is still small and there are still 14 more days of voting. So we need you to keep on voting EVERY DAY and keep on passing the word along to friends and family that we need them to vote too!This mama isn't going to breathe easy until the last day of voting because if we can come from behind to take the lead, the other 3 babies could do so too.

http://www.gerber.com/photo/#/vote/ - search for Pascal and vote!

Updated blog: Vote for Pascal!

2010-11-08T20:11:00.005-06:00

Here's my honest plea as a mother: Vote for Pascal!

You might be thinking, but what is the likelihood of Pascal winning the Gerber Baby contest amongst 200,000 entries? Well let me break it down for you:

There are 6 age categories (Pascal is in the orange Crawlers group). Every month for 6 months there is 1 winner in each category based on who gets the most votes for a total of 36 winners. Each of the 36 winners wins a video camera and a feature on the Gerber Baby website. Then the contest becomes subjective and the judges pick 1 Grand Prize winner from all of the 36 to win the $25,000 scholarship and photo shoot. 1 in 36 is a much better chance than 1 in 200,000.

This round of voting, there are 5950 entries in Pascal's Crawlers group, and of all of these sweet babes (yes, I've looked through every last one of the 5950 pictures-while Pascal was napping), there are only 3 kids with more votes than Pascal.

Pascal has 380 and change as I write this post, these other little kiddos have about 100-150 more votes than him.

So what are going to do about this? Give up? Heck no! We need you and every single person you have ever known, met, liked, disliked to vote EVERY DAY in November for Pascal. If you're a college student, get your friends to vote. If you're a child, get your parents to vote (you must be 13 to vote). If you're a teacher, get your entire school staff to vote. If you're a medical professional, get your patients to vote. If you're a college professor, get your students to vote. If you're a SAHM (you know who you are), get your other SAHMs to vote. If you don't have internet at home - go to the library. Get the point?

Here's how to make Pascal's (and our) dreams come true:

1. Click this link http://www.gerber.com/photo/#/vote/
2. Click the "Search" button.
3. Enter "Pascal" in the name area

4. When you see his picture click "VOTE" and follow the instructions

You can follow PASCAL's campaign on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Vote-For-Pascal/155797487795913?v=wall

Fabulously frugal finds!

2010-11-02T14:50:00.008-05:00

Ballet flats: $4.78/Target

The perfect wreath I've been searching for: $.50/Goodwill (1/2 off)

A new purse that can accommodate my planner and wallet/camera/other random junk: $1.00/Goodwill (also 1/2 off)

Grand Total=$6.28+tax

Joylynn=one happy shopper

Pascal's first Halloween

2010-11-01T21:36:00.005-05:00

Because of Pascal, I had more fun this Halloween than I can remember in recent years. Kids really do make holidays more magical. We had a BUSY weekend packed full of good times. Friday evening, I went with some girlfriends to a Sara Groves concert in Oxford, MI. Then Saturday morning Thor, Pascal and I returned to Lapeer to spend time with Jeff, Nichole (Chou) Flynn and their cutie pie son William. Thor got some great pictures of them and their extended family. We stopped at the Henning household to show off Pascal in costume to Grandma Henning (Uncle David was studying diligently at the library and Grandpa Henning was doing some last minute campaigning for issues on the ballot). We arrived back at home in time to get last minute arrangements ready for the surprise party we hosted for our friend Brian Wilson to celebrate his new job. Brian's wife and his whole family along with other friends from church came and completely caught Brian off guard.

Sunday morning we went to church and Grandpa Razz came up to spend the morning/afternoon with us. Pascal took a nice long, much needed nap and woke up in time to welcome our Spanish friends, Oscar, Merce', and their 10 month old son Nick, one of Pascal's best buddies, over for a feast! Then we dressed the boys up and took them around to our neighbors for Trick or Treating while Thor passed out candy. We (and by "we" I mean "Thor) lit luminaries in our driveway, something I intend to do for Christmas and future holidays. After an hour of Trick or Treating at home, we headed to church for the Fall Festival/Trunk or Treat. It was a great crowd of children and their families with Pastor Rob dressed up as a Special Operations army guy (a real occupation in his past). By the time we got home, it was almost 2 hours past Pascal's bedtime and he was one tired dinosaur.

Grandpa and grandson

2010-10-25T15:51:00.002-05:00

Pascal and Grandpa Henning got to hang out together this past weekend. It was a good time. Thank you Mom & Dad for watching Pascal so Thor and I could enjoy a wedding!

Fall Fall Fall = pumpkins

2010-10-11T12:50:00.009-05:00

This morning we met up with Corey and Will at Johnson's Giant Pumpkins and took in the sights. The boys took ample time to pet the sheep and goats and look at the many bunnies and chickens. There were also oversized (like 8 feet tall) painted hay creations of Spongebob Squarepants, Clifford and Elmo. And of course we indulged in the necessary donut/cider treat. According to one of the staff there, they had 10,000 people show up throughout the course of yesterday. They served "a lot of donuts." I think there may have been 30 people/children there tops this morning. Good for us:) Thanks Corey & Will for a fun time!